How to Break It Off w/ An Emotionally Unstable Mama's Boy...while Preggers!

Ok, so as well all know I am a part-time Therapist. And I have been presented with a most challenging issue of late. My sister, fly betty, is dealing with an emotionally unstable fella and she no longer wants to be involved with him, and she is going about the termination THE WRONG WAY. Now in his defense, she is hard-headed, impatient, bossy, and slightly a know it all, not to mention she is a FEMALE VIRGO...so stubborn doesn't describe it. So for history sake and to let you know where this stems from I will paste a portion of their communications so you can see where my advice comes from....

Him: So what are u doin (12:37)
Her: I know I'm responding so late but I was sleep! Now, I'm sitting under the dryer (10:12)
Him: U gettin braids (10:20)
Her: Yeah, tomorrow (10:19)
Him: O well im off today (10:22)
Him: So... Do u wanna do something (10:29)
Her: Sorry, but my hair's not gonna be done tonite! Maybe the next time you're off (10:31)
Him: Well do u want Her to jus come over (10:33)
Her: No cause my hair won't be done! When's the next time you're off? (10:34)
Him: Wendesday friday i believe and i dont care if ur hair not done (10:37)
Him: But u do yea ok (10:48)
Him: ? Are u tryin to avoid Her (11:18)
Her: Why would you ask something like it? (11:20)
Him: U always got some reason y u cant see Her (11:21)
Her: Um...I really don't get invites from you anymore but if that's you feel..... (11:22)
Him: Not as much cuz i always get an excuse and i never get invites no more but u havin ur hair not done is more important than seein Her (11:25)
Her: You don't get invites cause I don't do shit! I go to work, coHer home and go to sleep! That's my life story and has been since March (11:26)
Him: I know thats not everyday u do something i can come watch u sleep (11:29)
Her: Yeah, it really is! (11:29)
Him: O we need to see each other more when possible baby not goin no Her (11:53)
Her: Yeah, you're right (12:07)
Him: So who was ur (friend) u went to golden coral with (3:17)
Her: My friend Erica, why? (3:18)
Him: I was wandering but um ive never heard of erica u sure it wasnt eric (3:21)
Him: or tim (3:21)
Her: Have you always been this jealous and an emotional? (3:23)
Him: Well when ur close relationship goes long distance u would ask the saHer questions right (3:24)
Him: And u didnt answer my question (3:24)
Her: Yes, it was Erica and you haven't heard of people that I might menntion now adays! As far as Her asking questions as the one you just asked, I wouldn't ask (3:29)
Him: Well y havent i heard of this person or people that u now know and hang wit (3:36)
Him: U always said u have no friends (3:36)

So I say to her...has won this particular "argument" hands down! Of course she doesn't agree and asks me how do I come to this conclusion. I tell her 1) he is asking you direct questions 2) you are refusing to answer them 3) he is right about you making excuses 4) he is the father of your child so he has seen you with your hair fucked up before 5) He is making an effort to spend time with you, etc! AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS NOT COOPERATING... That's when I had an epiphany and asked "...You don't know anything about men do you?" and she replied "No." (sidebar: did you notice the emotionally unstable part ("...I can come watch you sleep..." WTF?)
Afterwards she says well I don't want to be mean to him and I am trying to give him signs that it is over. I say well OBVIOUSLY he is not good at reading between the lines and he has given you an "out" on more than one occasion...

She says I am going to write him a "Dear John" and I say thats kool and you should meet somewhere publicly to deliver it to him....some other things were discussed but I digress....

When breaking up with someone that you don't want to hurt, you must take extra precautions to ensure a smooth clean break...

This leads to the list:
1) Use apologetic terms (i.e. Unfortunately, in time, once, we, compassion)
2) Apologize for your part in the break-up (even if you feel you've done nothing wrong this with help keep an EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE person balanced)
3) Meet in public
4) Don't give more time than absolutely necessary (this will send a mixed signal and give them hope of another chance)
5) Take a friend (use this only if you feel there will be "trouble" and keep the friend hidden ESPECIALLY if this friend is Male)
6) DO NOT POINT THE FINGER!!! (This may get you slapped/punched/kicked and other wise embarrassed)
7) Keep the insults under wraps (refer to point 6)
8) If you've written a "Dear John" let him/her read it alone and in their own time. (Cover bases by putting at the end of the letter, "contact me when you are ready to talk..." this will take the ball out of your court and place it in theirs)
9) Smile often especially at the GOOD TIMES you've shared. (Remember its all about keeping the balance and hurt to a minimum)
10) Depart with a light handshake or even a hug (this will keep the friendship tone of the breakup)

Because whether you want to believe it or not, EVERYONE is emotionally unstable at some point!

Remember the spirit of the feenix is within...

~feenix