Friday, October 30, 2009

Serenity...


Ok it is Friday morning, THANK GOD! And I am determined to not let anything push me over the edge. It has been that kind of week. So before I go on and detail my week, I will start with this...

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Ok it kind of started last Friday. When I got a call from a professor (Im in education)and she was inquiring about certain technologies available to her. (She started off with this "I'm white so you are going to allow me to talk to you any way I want and do what I want..." tone and I responded with the tone "Don't get it twisted, I'm "white" too and your demands DO NOT supercede mine!) Innocent enough I thought until I reminded her that a MANDATORY and NECESSARY piece of documentation was missing from her "file" which constitutes a violation in the contract. She gets all huffy and tells me why should she have to submit that information. For a second time I state that its REQUIRED! She goes on to say that I am not going to email it and I say that is your choice but it needs to be on file in my office prior to the start of your class. She responds with "well can I fax it?" I say "sure" and I provided her with the fax number. Upon ending the phone call, and because I believe in documentation, I shot her an email detailing our conversation, included fax, email, and contact information, and even pulled an excerpt from the policy that refers to the requested documentation. And if I told you what the document was...you would hit the floor in shock about why/how all this came about from requesting a freakin' syllabus!!!!!!

So Monday arrives and still no document. Fine! I shoot Professor Pain in my Ass, known from this point forward as P.P.I.M.A, an email going back to our Friday conversation and delivering the information that I said I would. She is going to tell me the document is on the internet so go retrieve it. I THINK NOT!! Policy is you submit it, not I go look for it. She calls hours later asking for my director's information. After I identified who the caller was, cuz I just wasn't going to give that up freely, I gave her the information. I had no problem...do what you do boo! Shortly thereafter, my outlook sound alert dings letting me know I have an e-mail. Now if you have ever used outlook then you know that if you are not in the email window then a box will pop up with an excerpt of the message. To my not so surprise it was P.P.I.M.A! And she CC'd my director talking about how I was unprofessional, and needed training on using the company computer infrastructure and how other people were able to go and retrieve it with no problems blah blah blah blah. So of course my director calls me with the "whats goin on tone" I explain to him the intracies of this flawed and delicate relationship. Now anyone that knows me knows that there are few things that set me off, I'm talking 0-60, in seconds. 1) spitting on me 2) telling lies on me 3) and fuckin' with my family...But I digress. The email that P.P.I.M.A sent was full of lies about how I didn't contact her and inform her of anything blah blah blah blah. This is where that good "paper trail" comes in. I forwarded everything I sent her to my director. Case closed or so I thought. When I say gump ass muthafukka...I MEAN A GUMP ASS MUTHAFUKKA. He would rather apologize to her and accomodate her rather than tell her that she was wrong for not following policy. But hey I could care less. Cuz once I handed the situation to him, I was done with it. And I told my director that I am not apologizing to her, him, or anyone for something that I did not do. And if he feels an apology will appease her then he needs to be the one to give it. Case Closed! (At least for Tuesday LOL) Here comes Wednesday...Class night. I go in and greet P.P.I.M.A as part of my job duties cuz trust if I had to do it on GP it would not have gotten done. I have NOTHING to say to people like that. Anyhoo, This is what apologizing to a Nazi will get you. She lied on my director too...LOL That's what you get homie!

So I sent her a very kind email yesterday, on purpose, and BCC'd my Director. It had all kinds of warm fuzzies included, and addressed the issue without an apology being given. You know she still responded with attitude, rudeness, and dismay. I'm convinced that she is trying to pull me into some battle that she think she will win. But since I know me and I know that when I am done there will be one man standing I didn't even want to go there. Because I can fix her ass, but at what consequence. There is more, but this is the meat and potatoes...

I really don't know if I should share this next part but after all I went thru this week with needy ass adults, ignorant adults, whiny adults, bullshitting adults, useless adults, and just ass hole adults...this was the comical highlight of it all.
DO PEOPLE REALLY STILL CALL AND ASK HOW YOU KNOW (INSERT NAME) AND WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I mean really, it is 2009 quickly approaching 2010 and if you have to call around and call numbers back to find out what your mate is doing, then IS IT REALLY WORTH IT. And newsflash they aren't your partner, mate, lover, girlfriend, or boyfriend if thats how it is going down. But the extra funny part was this...
Actual conversation with edits: Ringtone: How do you expect me to live alone with just me? Cause my world revolves around you its so hard for me to breath, I answer...
Me:"Hello"
caller: "yes can I speak to J
Me: Speaking
Caller: Yes how do you know (insert name)
Me: Stuck like no the fuck you didn't responds "I suggest you ask (insert name) how we know eachother.
Caller: ok imma call you right back
2mins pass...Ringtone: How do you expect me to live alone with just me? Cause my world revolves around its so hard for me to breath,
Me: Hello
Caller: Yes hold on (hits speaker phone)then says "yes (insert name) says its best to ask you how yall know eachother.
Me: (In my head I'm like LMAO you just got played by your own other half cuz it ain't no way in hell my mate is going to tell me some shit like that and I actually call the person back) Okay back to the conversation cuz I missed most of it with my personal thoughts.
Me: Are you done now?
Caller: Yes just stay away from (insert name)
Me: LOL laters!

First off how can you even embarrass yourself like that? I said it once, I will say it again. IF YOU HAVE TO CALL AROUND LOOKING FOR, TRACKING DOWN, OR INQUIRING ABOUT WHO YOUR MATES KNOW ECT...THEN THEY ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING MATE! THEY ARE NOT YOUR LOVER, PARTNER, BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, ECT...and the sooner you realize that, the better off you will be!

So glad its FRIDAY and this week will be behind me shortly! Then I can go spend some time with Bob M. and Mr. Bombay and his mate Lady Olive!!!! Oh and pick up my I-Phone

~feenix

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

He Cut His Hair....


WTF!!!!

I so didn't see this comin'...check it out and share your thoughts in the comment section. Do you even know who this is?

Give you a clue...Jenson Atwood

~feenix

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I am grateful...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

I am grateful for being able to talk to my parents on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful that Bambi decided to stay her ass in the forest yesterday...10/15/2009

I am grateful to laugh on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful to be expressive...10/16/2009

I am grateful for memories...10/21/2009

I am grateful for love...10/27/2009

Monday, October 26, 2009

Monday Morning Random Thoughts...


Usually when I have a bunch of stuff in my head, with no cohesion, it becomes time for RANDOM THOUGHTS!

Adult ignorance irritates me

If I send you an email, professionally, READ IT!

Don't send me emails asking questions, that WERE ANSWERED IN THE EMAIL I ALREADY SENT!

Being demanding doesn't really work well with me. If you want me to help you, act like it!

Completed means having all parts or elements; lacking nothing; whole; entire; full...So don't submit a form with parts missing and then say you sent me a completed form cuz now I have to call you and cuss your dumb ass out!

Needy adults irritate me

White adults, who fail to realize that I am "White" also, that use that I'm white demanding voice irritates me...

I am just fucking irritated!

~feenix

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I am grateful...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

I am grateful for being able to talk to my parents on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful that Bambi decided to stay her ass in the forest yesterday...10/15/2009

I am grateful to laugh on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful to be expressive...10/16/2009

I am grateful for memories...10/21/2009

~feenix

Monday, October 19, 2009

27 Dresses...

This just makes me want to be in the movie, scene is the bar after the rain. Love that movie!!!!

This song is classic and just gives you a taste of the kind of musically inclined gentle creature that I am...



~feenix

Heard 'Em All...

Now I know I am not the only one that has heard it time and time and time again. But people fail to realize that Whitney and Deborah said it best..."Same Script, Different Cast" What that means is you are not the original gamer and the words you speak have no originality, so when I tell you I've seen this "movie" before TRUST ME I KNOW HOW IT ENDS. Be creative, make me say hmmmmmmmmmm. Dazzle me, stump me, make me think but most of all be genuine, you would be surprised at the results!!!

Oh and check out Amerie's video...
IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BE A GOTHIC UBER-SLUT!
~feenix

Heard Em All - Amerie

Friday, October 16, 2009

I am grateful...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

I am grateful for being able to talk to my parents on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful that Bambi decided to stay her ass in the forest yesterday...10/15/2009

I am grateful to laugh on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful to be expressive...10/16/2009

So emotional...

I don't know if it is the weather...

I don't know if its my hormones...

Or if it is the deconstruction of the ice tomb I subconsciously built around my emotions...slowly melting away.

But today I am a walking ball of emotions.

I kinda raised my voice and got mad at my mom last night because I felt like she was defending my sister in the argument we had. I feel like I am expected to always be the good guy and to turn the other cheek. (Last I checked I wasn't Linda Blair and this ain't the exorcism so I am running out of cheeks)

But I know when something is really bothering me because I can't stop thinking about it and I have to address it in order to feel better. So in writing the post for my sister this morning I began to cry...and kept crying. These were silent tears but I guess I am just hurt. Are these bottled emotions that I can't explain?

As the rain outside cools and cleanses the earth, the tears inside, flowing out, are cleansing my soul...

Check out the song that was playing while writing this post..Never heard of it, it just showed up in the rotation! Symbolism...



I'm sorry mother...
~feenix

How do you apologize...

The definition itself implies guilt and admission of fault...
For that I believe is what makes it hard for me to apologize because I don't always feel I am at fault or guilty. Maybe its about interpretation!

This particular subject is important on this rainy Friday because My makidada and I had a heated discussion yesterday that resulted in comments and statements being made that whether true or not were VERY MUCH HURTFUL! At the time I felt I was right in making them and I still believe that they are true but MAYBE THAT WASN'T MY PLACE or MAYBE I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BE HURTFUL. Whatever the reason that is my sister and I APOLOGIZE...


For whatever the reason we had the disagreement you are still my MAKIDADA and I will always love you and try to make your life better in anyway that I can!

Can you do me one favor? Please stop putting your family down and embrace the good things about them. They will ALWAYS be there for you when no one else will!

Love you,
Baby Brother...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I am grateful...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

I am grateful for being able to talk to my parents on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful that bambi decided to stay her ass in the forest yesterday...10/15/2009

I am grateful to laugh on a daily basis...10/15/2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'm grateful for...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I have to find a new place to live...

So I have to find another place to call home for a while and below are photos of the property I am really interested in...






My current bathroom is bigger than this but OH WELL!
And I don't know how I feel about the toilet being right by the door. Privacy please...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ummmmm...



FEVER!

Don't Know Where To Begin...

It's been a couple of days, more like 11 days, since I have really wrote about something going on in my life or my personal thoughts. And even though I have had some good times and laughs and experiences over those 11 days I really don't have anything to write about. Or at least I don't know what to write about.

I have been reading the blogs of some of my other blog buddies and I have just lived vicariously through them and their recent experiences. As open and candid as some of them are, it makes you question your own behavior and analyze ways in which you would have handled the same situation.

You question your cowardice and your courage!

Thank you Blogging community...Each day our strength grows!

~feenix

Shout out to Fuzzy...holla at me I need to talk to you about something...

I'm grateful for...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that but be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'm grateful for...

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that but be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I'm grateful for...

This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that but be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

Things I'm All About Right Now...



Empire State of Mind...Is My Muthafukkin' Jam


Can you make these in a size 13 driving loafer?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Big Sister, Big Sister...Theres NO ONE like my Big Sister!


My Big Sis is amazing in every way and I love her so very much. She always inspires me and i am so very proud and honored to call her my sister...

-She is the 2nd in command after our parents and she is like the cool sister mother who always tries to do right and make us do right but Makidada and I be like whatevs! LOL (Cuz we be dancin' and emphasizn')

My dear Big Sis, you are the greatest there is, And amazing in every way.
I greatly admire and look up to you, Each and every day.

-You strive and you've struggled but you always push forward. I wish sometimes that I had the boots you walk in because you make it...Time and Time again YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT. Sometimes they say being the baby is best but I don't know because as the baby everything is done for you and it takes YEARS for you to do it on your own. But you had to because you are the oldest and the book wasn't written for you like it is for me.

You are always showing how much you care, From your heart that is filled with love.
You are a our personal Angel, Sent from the heavens above.

-Many people say you have a big heart. But you can't help it thats how you were created. You just feel the need to help everyone, even those who clearly don't deserve it. Because of that there is a special place for you in my version of heaven!

Big Sis you are always in my heart & thoughts, And I am always sending you a hug and kiss. You could never be replaced by another...

Always and Forever, your little brother!

*DEAD* and on the floor...

of laughter.... This is why black folks (some) should not be allowed to purchase technology!





Coonary!!!!!!!!!!!!

~feenix