Valerie and Avis...August 09, 2009

So after and eventful weekend and with minimal sleep I had to load up "Kandy" and travel around the mean streets to pick up relatives so that we can embark on a caravan style road-trip to the great state of Pennsylvania to bear witness to the Holy Matrimony of one Ms. Valerie (my cousin) to one Mr. Avis (now my cousin-in-law)

Let's start off by saying it was hotter than Satan's Balls on this day. And as we arrive at our destination my mother was just as hot as Satan's Balls (reason: the wedding started at 3pm and we arrived at my grandma's to change clothes at 2:45 and it was 10 people that had to change) LOL she was livid and all I could do was laugh. My poor niece got it the worst and my mom leaned on her waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to the left. I could hear her from the other room goin' and all I could do was laugh and I mean LAUGH.

But can we talk about HOW MUTHAFREAKIN HOT IT WAS IN HER HOUSE...screw Satan's balls its like he snatched me up and placed me right int he crevice between his balls and his thigh and then had the audacity to close his legs. I couldn't get dressed fast enough! So I am pouring sweat and when I finally get dressed I am running down the steps and past everybody in full sprint. They like "where you going..." and I am like to my car. They knew what that meant...AIR!

So we get to the church and as we are walking by the windows are open and we can hear people talking. So we look up and its our cousin. We realize that its 3:30 and the wedding has not started kool, Moms can calm down. Oh but we walk in the church and nearly pass out...WHERE IS THE AIR IN THIS DAMN TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we walking in there 14 deep and people are just looking. So we take our rightful place on the front row of the bride side. You know the place reserved for FAMILY! How you doin'....
Shortly after the wedding begins. What trips me out...is that I didn't know you could sing the lords prayer...
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. [For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.]
Amen... Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us. Save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever. Amen.
NOW I DON'T KNOW WHICH VERSION SHE WAS SINGING but she was definitely singing the prayer. It caught me off guard because you know how sometimes you can't get the song from the very beginning because people be wanting to do their own renditions, so when I realized it I asked my parents if she was in fact belting out a tune with the lord's prayer as the lyrics, their snickers and smiles confirmed it.

Ghetto was it? Slightly....LOL
The groomsmen, the Groom specifically, was holding conversations at the alter. The bridesmaids were all outta line. The sons gave her away but stood up there at the alter with them. And then when it came time to kiss the bride, it was almost soft core porn, with him feeling her up and grabbin' her ass and the whole 9. Not to mention homie had on suede shoes with no socks LMAO!

Reception: Was in the gymnasium at the YMCA...do I need to go any further?

But all in all I am glad that she was happy and I got to see family that I have never met or have not seen in a long time!

~feenix