Deja Vu - F.I.T.N.E.S.S.

So 'feenix magazine' readers I bring you a pretty funny story today, at least I think its funny. You know how you see something and it makes you laugh hysterically because you either experienced it before, had a premonition, or just wondered what if? Well I had that experience yesterday...

So if your like me you hate when people drive like they don't have any sense at all and like they got their drivers license from sears in the "blue light special" isle. Well I am driving and I foresee that the light 1/2 a mile ahead is has turned green as I approach it and I notice that the car stopped at the light has not moved yet. So I honk my horn as I approach so that they can proceed, which is usually indicated by the green light. I guess he felt offended because then he wanted to drive slow and continue to press his brakes. My thing is this, why are you upset at me because YOU were wrong. No one has to be on your time that's why the road is a shared space. Anyhoo, he proceeded straight and I turned. --sidebar: Has anybody noticed that the dodge charger/magnum has become the new black mans 'Mercedes'???-- So of course he was driving a charger, but I noticed he had a "doughnut" for his front tire (this becomes relevant later in the story) So I pull into the gym parking garage and what do I see, its the charger. -sidebar: don't you just "hate" when a driver that you have cussed out in your head or honked at happens to be or ends up at the same place you are going?-- This is where the story gets hilarious....

So as I am walking towards the entrance, he gets out of his car and proceeds in the same direction. He starts to remove his clothes...my first thought here we go with the I'm too sexy for a shirt syndrome (refer to posting titled FTINESS). I ask myself why is he removing his clothes on the way into the gym, then it dawned he wants people to see his body. I am tickled!!!! At this point I knew we would run into each other again.

So I am now late for yoga, thanks to him not paying attention in driving school, and I don't think its appropriate to enter yoga class late because its about relaxation and balance and entering one's space during this time is disruptive, so instead I start my regular routine. An hour or more has passed and I am now on one of the machines and guess who decides to use the machine right next to me, yes its I'M TO SEXY FOR A SHIRT and want to show off my "jail" body! --sidebar: Jail body by definition is the physique one gains while incarcerated, for some reason it just looks completely different from the body's obtained in a regular gym...maybe because all inmates have to do all day is lift weights but anyway... this is where the entertainment begins. --sidebar 2: it didn't help that every part of his visible upper body was covered in tattoos..made me ask myself what the hell kind of job does he have and does he wear short sleeves when it is hot..couldn't be his boss; translation COVER THAT SHIT UP, you just gonna have to be hot!--

So I am working out on the weight machine and I notice 3 fat girls (from this point forward referred to as "healthy") in front of me but to the left. As I am watching them, I notice that they are watching him, especially the EXTRA healthy one. He is looking at his own reflection in the window and performing for his "audience." The "healthy" girls are doing less exercising and more staring and giggling which is probably why they are "healthy" Then he starts rubbing on his body like he is in the shower and they are just eating it up. Then he makes the ultimate "you've got to be kidding me" move in all of gym history. He takes off his wife beater and looks at his body, this is when I can't contain my laughter anymore and had to put the weight down before I dropped it on my foot...cracking up!!!!!!! WTF was that about?

So he puts his shirt back on, finish with the machine, and moves in the direction of the "healthy" girls...They get all excited like he is coming over for them and all you see is teeth, then he says "can I use this machine" I WAS CRACKING THE HELL UP! Then he pulls out his brush and brushes his hair...Black People are too funny and the gym should not be this comical. I just dont get it...

You can't buy better drama than this...

Unitl next time!~

~feenix