Laid To Rest...

Ever received some information that made you feel some type of way and you are not sure why it made you feel that way? Well I just experienced that and I am not sure how to feel so I figured the best way to let it go is to write about it.

History in brief...Years of conversation, personal moments shared, off and on communication, deep discussions about life, witness the death of some beloved family members, gained a deeper insight into the mental of the person. But most of this happened over a sporadic period of time with it being inconsistent enough for me not to feel attached or otherwise involved. Fast forward to 10 minutes ago. Message received insert blah blah blah, but the most important thing was "...you probably won't hear from me again..." OK wow, but best of luck is all I could muster. I think that is indicative of the place that I am in my life right where I just let things roll of my back.

So should I feel cheated? Hmmmmmm don't know it's just interesting how things play out. So I think this calls for a 'viking funeral'...if you are unfamiliar, it's where you take everything that is connected to the person and set it ablaze thereby laying it to rest. Since they, or anybody else for that matter, are not worth my cell phone I will just lay it to rest here. "The conversations were great and they were much needed at the time. I hope your life slows down enough for you to truly focus on and make the changes that you desire. Take care of yourself and always move forward... See you in another lifetime, Peace."

May you also set ablaze all of the people who told lies, were deceitful, made promises that they had no intentions of keeping, for making you feel like you were in it alone, for making you question your logic; intelligence; at times your sanity; and forcing you to choose between yourself and them...may you all burn and be laid to rest. I THANK YOU for giving me the tools and confidence to be okay with myself and giving me the strength to cease in giving you the reaction you wanted and in turn GIVE YOU THE REACTION YOU DESERVE. Whoever said you can't be happy everyday....you can when you tell them "I LOVE YOU..." "BUT I LOVE MYSELF MORE!" Cheers to self love.... and may the others rest in peace for you only demonstrated what you've learned.

~feenix

Saggin'

'feenix magazine' reader...I know its long but take a close look at it and please please please share your thoughts!!!!


Letter from a college student The other day, a friend of mine was visiting me in the lobby of my dorm just to chat while her laundry was drying. As we were chatting, two young freshmen came by.. One of the boys wanted to 'talk' to my friend (as i n date). She asked him how old they were, and both of the boys replied 18. My friend and I both laughed hysterically because we are both 22 years old. After my friend left, the young men were still hanging around and one wanted to know how he could gain her interest. The first thing I told him to do was to pull up his pants! He asked why, and then he said “I liked saggin' my pants”. I told them to come over to my computer and spell the word saggin'. Then I told him to write the word saggin' backwards. S-A-G-G-I-N N-I-G- G-A-S I told him the origin of that “look” was from centuries ago. It was the intent of slave owners to demoralize the field workers by forbidding them to wear a belt as they worked in the fields or at any other r igorous job. In addition, men in prison wore their pants low when they were 'spoken for'. The other reason their pants looked like that was they were not=2 0allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide. And, saggin' pants prevents you from running. We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change. We are dying. The media has made a mockery of the Black American. Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don't take us seriously. Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held high could make the biggest difference in the world's perception of us. It is time to do right by ourselves. We need to love and embrace each other. No one is going to do that for us. It all comes down to perception. What people perceive is what reality to them is. We have to change not only the me dia's perception of us, but we need to change our perception of ourselves.

Remember all eyes are on you Black Man. All eyes are on you Black Woman. All eyes are on your Black Child. People point the finger at us and expect us to engage in negative and illegal activities, to manifest loud, boisterous b ehavior, to spend our hard earned money in their stores, buying goods we don't need, or really want. We have allowed not only the media, but the government and the world to portray us as a “sub-culture”. They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers, athletes, drug users, and consumers of junk food, expensive tennis shoes, expensive cars, expensive TVs, cell phones and not investing in homes for our families. We are so much more!!!!!!! To all our Black Men: It’s time to stand up. There are billions of Black Women who want to do nothing more than worship the ground that you walk on. We are so in love with your potential. We want to have your back, we want to love, support and cherish every ounce of your being. But with that you have to show that you are willing to be the head of our households. You have to prove yourselves worthy of our submission. We need you to be hard working...Not a hustler. We need you to seek higher education, to seek spirituality. We need you to stand! And trust us; we will have your back. We know that it gets hard. We know you get weary. Trust and believe that there is not hing that a Black Man and a Black Woman can't handle with GOD on their side. To all our Black Women: It is also time for you to stand up. It is time for you to stop using our bodies as our primary form of communication. It is time to be that virtuous woman that Proverbs spoke of. You cannot sit by the wayside while our men are dying by the masses. You are the epitome of Black Love. It starts within you. You need to speak with conviction to let not only our Black Men know, but the world, t hat you are the Mothers of this world. You are so powerful. You are so beautiful. You need to love and embrace every blessing God has given us physically, emotionally and spiritually. For all our Black Children: We need to love them.. We need to teach them. We need to stand up for them. We need to protect them. We need to show them that there are no 'get rich quick' schemes. We need to tell them that they WILL die trying if they submit to a life of crime and deceit.. We need to teach our children that no one will love them the way we can. And being a basketball player, a rapper, or a drug dealer is not reality. It's not realistic and only a small percentage of people ever make it as a rapper or professional athlete. We need to teach our children that we can be more than rappers and athletes. We can be the owners of these sports teams. We can be the CEO's of OUR fortune 500 companies. We need to believe in literacy. I am almost certain if we were to look back to the 1930's and 40's, the literacy rates for Black American Children are probably still the same.

~Anonymous

Deja Vu - F.I.T.N.E.S.S.

So 'feenix magazine' readers I bring you a pretty funny story today, at least I think its funny. You know how you see something and it makes you laugh hysterically because you either experienced it before, had a premonition, or just wondered what if? Well I had that experience yesterday...

So if your like me you hate when people drive like they don't have any sense at all and like they got their drivers license from sears in the "blue light special" isle. Well I am driving and I foresee that the light 1/2 a mile ahead is has turned green as I approach it and I notice that the car stopped at the light has not moved yet. So I honk my horn as I approach so that they can proceed, which is usually indicated by the green light. I guess he felt offended because then he wanted to drive slow and continue to press his brakes. My thing is this, why are you upset at me because YOU were wrong. No one has to be on your time that's why the road is a shared space. Anyhoo, he proceeded straight and I turned. --sidebar: Has anybody noticed that the dodge charger/magnum has become the new black mans 'Mercedes'???-- So of course he was driving a charger, but I noticed he had a "doughnut" for his front tire (this becomes relevant later in the story) So I pull into the gym parking garage and what do I see, its the charger. -sidebar: don't you just "hate" when a driver that you have cussed out in your head or honked at happens to be or ends up at the same place you are going?-- This is where the story gets hilarious....

So as I am walking towards the entrance, he gets out of his car and proceeds in the same direction. He starts to remove his clothes...my first thought here we go with the I'm too sexy for a shirt syndrome (refer to posting titled FTINESS). I ask myself why is he removing his clothes on the way into the gym, then it dawned he wants people to see his body. I am tickled!!!! At this point I knew we would run into each other again.

So I am now late for yoga, thanks to him not paying attention in driving school, and I don't think its appropriate to enter yoga class late because its about relaxation and balance and entering one's space during this time is disruptive, so instead I start my regular routine. An hour or more has passed and I am now on one of the machines and guess who decides to use the machine right next to me, yes its I'M TO SEXY FOR A SHIRT and want to show off my "jail" body! --sidebar: Jail body by definition is the physique one gains while incarcerated, for some reason it just looks completely different from the body's obtained in a regular gym...maybe because all inmates have to do all day is lift weights but anyway... this is where the entertainment begins. --sidebar 2: it didn't help that every part of his visible upper body was covered in tattoos..made me ask myself what the hell kind of job does he have and does he wear short sleeves when it is hot..couldn't be his boss; translation COVER THAT SHIT UP, you just gonna have to be hot!--

So I am working out on the weight machine and I notice 3 fat girls (from this point forward referred to as "healthy") in front of me but to the left. As I am watching them, I notice that they are watching him, especially the EXTRA healthy one. He is looking at his own reflection in the window and performing for his "audience." The "healthy" girls are doing less exercising and more staring and giggling which is probably why they are "healthy" Then he starts rubbing on his body like he is in the shower and they are just eating it up. Then he makes the ultimate "you've got to be kidding me" move in all of gym history. He takes off his wife beater and looks at his body, this is when I can't contain my laughter anymore and had to put the weight down before I dropped it on my foot...cracking up!!!!!!! WTF was that about?

So he puts his shirt back on, finish with the machine, and moves in the direction of the "healthy" girls...They get all excited like he is coming over for them and all you see is teeth, then he says "can I use this machine" I WAS CRACKING THE HELL UP! Then he pulls out his brush and brushes his hair...Black People are too funny and the gym should not be this comical. I just dont get it...

You can't buy better drama than this...

Unitl next time!~

~feenix

I Think This Is Worth Sharing...

Greetings 'feenix' magazine' readers! Happy Thursday and I hope it will be a great one for you, and I hope this post will help you tremendously, so I am going to share it with you...

Not everyone is spiritually healthy and mature enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you LET GO, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible,not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have DRAMA or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? When you seek growth,peace of mind, love and truth, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for godly wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.
'Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level,doesn't mean you sink to theirs!'

~Anonymous

It's All Over...

Welcome back to another Manic Monday here at 'feexing magazine'...

So I must say that the weekend was a GREAT one altho the devil decided to make a guest appearance here on earth and blow heat all around the damn city but nonetheless it was a great one. Which brings me to my story of the day....

So if you go back to the previous post and re-read, or read for the first time, the post titled 'Game recognizes game...' then you will be aware of why I had to terminate, cease, and destroy that interaction all together. So Friday I get a phone call and mysteriously they are back from the "business" trip and all is well again. LOL can you be anymore naive and ridiculous to think that SHITE was gonna fly. So I was my nonchalant self and they couldn't handle that. But what did you expect the reaction to be... A wise person once said "its not always what you say, its what you don't say that people should be listening to..." Can I get a 'AMEN' So what they should have been hearing is "I don't see a need to get all excited and emotional or otherwise entertain you as if your "business" trip never happened. Now its not the fact that they went on a business trip that has my peacock feathers ruffled, its the Bull SHITE explanation they gave as to why contact would be distorted for a week. See I don't trip because I don't call...So if you want to talk to me you call me...So you control that and with that being said there was no need to give that whacked excuse for lack of calls. Now either the explanation was so dumb that it was actually true or it was a blatant attempt to play with my intelligence. I, as many of my readers believe, it was BULL SHITE!!!! Hey but we may never know...

So this brings us to today. IM window pops up...no message. (here the shite begins) So I say "hello" and they respond with "good day." Fast forward to the end..... Are you done with me? I reply " Yes I think so" " I think its best"..."Take care"


How's that for Monday Afternoon Drama......
Well faithful followers, I think its that time for me to start shutting it down 24 mins and counting....Until next time remember, the spirit of the 'feenix' is within you!

~feenix

Game Recognizes Game...

Welcome Back to Tasty Tuesdays here at 'feenix magazine'....

We are going to go a different route today and talk about shenanigans. Riley Freeman has to be one of the best cartoon characters to have been created here in the 2000's...and one of my favorite quotes by him is "...GAME RECOGNIZES GAME GRANDPA, and you lookin' unfamiliar..." This was said in response to Grandpa taking a "young" girl out to Red Lobster after he met her in the grocery store. The reason why this is relevant because I would like to know from my readers what would your reaction be or how would you feel if someone you were particularly close to, close being defined as sharing intimate moments, sent you a message saying "...i am going out of town on business for a week so we can't talk cuz i will be busy..."

Now color me crazy but thats sounds like BullSHITE...and because game recognizes game they lookin' unfamiliar...LOL So you are so busy that you never go to the bathroom...so busy that you never take a break, so busy that you just fall in the bed and never take your "work" clothes off? WTF??? Get the ***k outta here wit that malarkey... Betta be like my girl Jesse from Poetic Justice "...cuz all I do is DRESS and REST, cuz love don't live here anymore, come on yall..."
I could go on and on like Erykah with movie and song quotes that fit this situation so perfectly, but why give it anymore thought, time, and attention than I already have.

Until we speak again.... Remember, the spirit of the feexix is within you!

`feenix

Obsessed

Ok 'feenix magazine' readers, you all know how I feel about Beyonce--henceforth referred to as "B"-- and in case you are unfamiliar with our relationship, we go way way way back like white walls on cadillacs. So "B" is doing all of these wonderful things in life right now and I am just appreciative of the fact that she keeps me included. --sidebar: upcoming projects Tour dates just released for her North American tour (kick off at Madison Square Garden NYC (I smell a road trip); Obsessed: A La Fatal Attraction (so glad this isn't a DAMN musical) in theaters April 24th (I am already there); David Letterman tomorrow evening; and The Today Show--

"B" has an amazing set of skills and talents to add to her KILLER body...OMG!!! But whats with the new, "ALL I EVER WEAR NOW IS A LEOTARD ONE-SIE..." --sidebar: I wonder if it snaps at the bottom--one thing her and I have not been able to come to terms with. Oh and how about my new song is 'HALO' and if you haven't listened to it, and I mean really listen to it, I SUGGEST YOU DO SO IMMEDIATELY!!!! (How's that for an endorsement "B"?)

But enough about my SBFF "B" but its a "MESSY MONDAY" here at the lab and I have other things to 'tend to....Until next time 'feenix magazine' readers...Remember the spirit of the feenix is within you!

~feenix

F.I.T.N.E.S.S.

I heard that some 'feenix magazine' readers were looking for me.....I'M BACK!

Ok so is it hurtful to say things like "they don't make nice clothes in fat peoples sizes..."? Well my character will not allow me to have a shabby appearance. Those that know me are fully aware of my need for everything to be in its place. And we all know that some clothes just don't come in "plus" sizes or XXL, so me saying that is just repeating what we know as fact. This brings me to my current fitness program along with the fact that I don't think its ok to live an unhealthy life. (i.e. the way you eat or what you eat)

Can you say SORE.....I went to get out of the bed last night to "go see a man about a horse" and almost collapsed on the floor. I had no idea that it was going to feel like that. Trust me I am not complaining because I am having a great time in the class and things of the sort, but this should not be part of the package. --sidebar: Who else hates going to the gym during what I like to call "rush hour" this is when everyone gets off work and decides the gym is their next stop before home. The reason why this time is bad is because you have to wait in line for exercise machines, its super crowded, and the free weight section looks like biker weekend in myrtle beach with the damn near naked, dred-locked, heathens who think they are too sexy for a shirt--But unfortunately, this is the only time that evening classes are offered...yayyy for me and everyone else right?

Well 'feenix magazine' readers take it from a true fashionista, big bodies don't fit in small clothes and I think everyone should do something healthy for themselves....until next time remember "the spirit of the feenix is within you..."


`feenix

Training Day...part 4

Well 'feenix magazine' readers...today was the last and final day of the shenanigans called "training"

And I must say farewell avedasine adu (doubt if I spelled any of that right, but you get it).......so glad that's over!

~feenix

Training Day...part 3

Here we are at Day 3 and the thrill is gone. Upon late arrival to training today I noticed that there were some new instructors. Interesting I thought...new faces new excitement...boy was I wrong...Such a drag! Not to mention that I got stuck sitting across from the know it all who had a flesh eating arm disease and then they felt the need to engage me in conversation. But its nothing worse than a training session where the trainers are unequipped to answer your questions and decide to talk around the answer as if you are to accept that! Go Figure...
--sidebar: I wonder if all people from Czech are as nice as the one that sat next to me in training, can we say friendly--

Day 4 to follow.....Yawn!

~feenix

Full Blown LDR....

Readers, I need your help....

I, unbeknownst to me, have gotten myself in a pseudo relationship with a young lady miles away from me --that is the least of the complication--and after careful analysis I don't know what to do. I do believe this is where I insert a little bit of history on the situation....

History:Ok so we met on ********, I think I was searching for a friend and stumble upon her by accident. Oh no wait she contacted me cuz she noticed that I used to work for Enterprise and we started talking from there. Don't get me wrong the conversation was kool from the beginning she was a different kinda girl aggressive, yet feminine, nasty yet subtle, and all that. And you know I am a huge flirt so it was easy for me to play along!

I don't know what kind of attraction it is...she is a nasty freak so it could definitely be sexual, emotional at times depending on what we talk about and we used to talk alot on *******, but when i stopped working and wasn't on as much she got mad because she felt i stopped being consistent in my communication with her. she prayed for my situation and things of that nature. Then it started getting more serious and somewhere in the midst of all this she ended up with my number and vice versa..Then we started texting and talking on phone. but i am not a phone person so that didn't last long. Then she was planning this cruise for us to go on..yadda yadda

So regroup to present day. She sends me a text and ask me what I am doing MEM Day Weekend...Set up right? I respond don't know yet, y? And here comes the BOMB! She says because I was thinking about visiting.....OK (i say as i rub my chin) I say, okay let me check my holiday schedule and let you know. That translated to her as I am too busy for you WTF?????

So I just had a conversation that I like to call "dramatics" because all I said was let me check and let you know that way you can make better plans that may or may not include me. Simple right? Well I guess its not that simple in real girl world.....

Now I will be the first to admit that I am a HUGE flirt and would probably flirt with anybody because it comes natural to me. But how did some flirting, a little charm, intelligence, and consistent conversation turn into trip plans and baby talk....

feenix is confused and bewildered at these shenanigans

~feenix

Training Day...part 2

Greetings once again 'feenix magazine' readers....lets talk about it.

So I wake up this morning with the thought that, "Oh D*** I have to go to the ATM machine, because I have to pay for parking at the training location that I didn't choose (and i didn't have to pay today yayyy!) and still have to rush and get to training only to be parking in the garage and realize that oh, and to boot, I don't have my training manual. So I begin to concoct all of these different situations where I could sit in training for 3.5 hours and it not be noticed that I am unprepared.... After much thought I came to the conclusion that situational diversions aren't even necessary. I just approached the trainer and said do you have a copy of today's "lesson" so that I can read along because I left mine on my desk. It worked out for me, because I didn't need it at all.

See today I arrived much earlier to training than I did yesterday (thanks to the emergency need to go to the ATM machine pit stop) so I was able to get a better seat. --sidebar: yesterday's seat was ok, if sitting directly next to the trainer is your cup of tea, but all I could do is focus on how big their eyes were and how their eyelids adjusted to fit over top of them every time they blinked) From this new piece of real estate(my seat) I was able to see more today. Like "Mr./Mrs. I should be the trainer" had some strange growth on their arm that made it hard for me to focus on the class because I just kept coming up with theories as to what it was. You know...malaria, skin eating disease, botched vaccination when they went thru 'that place where if you weren't born here you have to go to to be considered native...begins with an EYE'

And directly next to me was the person that everyone has in their office. The weird looking nerdy type who has a wealth of knowledge and declares that they never need training they are just there to "observe..." Well today I wanted to ask them if they could observe from the door because that miscellaneous scratching and clawing of your skin was making me a tad uneasy...instant thought was germX hand sanitizer to kill the microscopic hungry parasitic creatures that had you diggin in your skin like a prairie dog--never did figure out what was eating them.....*note to self: somehow bring that up in conversation....*

Well I got an early release from the skin parasite ward aka training camp and I must calm my nerves with a little Patti Labelle....So we will pick up with "Training Day...part 3" tomorrow, until then keep in mind that the spirit of the feenix is within you...!


~feenix

Training Day...part 1

So today was the first day of a week long training session that takes place over 4 days for 3 hours/day. (Yayy me right?) Well as if it isn't bad enough that you have to sit in training for this extended period of time, but you have to do it with people who think they know more than the trainers. (Granted sometimes they do and its evident, but that's on a case by case basis) So for every statement the trainer makes, know it all "student" who thinks they can run the training better than you but are confined to the seated position of "TRAINEE" has a rebuttal or some random fact that either supports or disputes the comment of the trainer. And if you are anything like me you wish that this would hurry up and come to an end because you aren't sure how long you can maintain control of your facial expressions. (guess nobody ever taught them that not everything requires a response...if you disagree or know otherwise file that in what I like to call your mental rolodex and proceed with caution)

But on to more pressing matters. How do they (they being the people that put these training sessions together) realistically expect you to UNDERSTAND, GRASP, AND RETAIN pages and pages and pages of information shoved at you in a 3 hour period, oh and then feel like they aren't doing a good job if you don't have any questions or are showing signs of disinterest...(whispers) I am not quite sure its disinterest, more like we don't understand anything you've just said and there really wasn't a whole interval of time to process it before you asked 15 questions, so I along with everyone else (except the student that thinks he should be the trainer and not you) decided to remain quiet and look disinterested (end whisper)...

Well 'feenix magazine' readers, I have been issued my kitchen pass and have been release from training camp for good behavior. So we will pick up with "Training Day...part 2" tomorrow until then keep in mind that the spirit of the feenix is within you...

~feenix

Monday Mania...

Welcome Back! to another work week 'feenix magazine' readers...
I must say that the weekend was an interesting one. From the sleep deprived ass whoopin' that a bicyclist almost caught in the middle of "K" street to the transi waitress at a local restaurant. (very felicity huffman in 'Transamerica') but I really can't complain about too much.

At this point I am in a different place and many things don't qualify as "things to hold onto" which is scary and refreshing at the same time. The best way to realize this is by running into your "past". Especially when your past is in the same small hot smoked filled drink induced hut with your other pasts...--sidebar: is it appropriate to entertain a potential while your past are present and definitely watching within eye shot?--

I remember a time when Monday was the worst day of the week for me. I felt so drained, unmotivated to complete any tasks and Mondays seemed to make the week longer. Now Mondays are like any other day of the week. Full of opportunity, laughs, happiness, and progression. My dad made a comment one day, about 2 weeks ago, and he said your not grown your growing...although he wasn't talking to me at the time, it really did make some things clear. So at my new stage in life and new thoughts...I tip my hat to growing, cuz thats just what I am doing...

With that being said let me unpause my tribute to Luther V....Jammin' on a Monday Morning!

~feenix

F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Well fellow 'feenixfire magazine' readers, we now close out another work week. (excluding those who work weekends) and I must say it has been an interesting one for me. The difficulties of dealing with other people and their drama, the pill induced tirades caused by weekday drivers, the up and down crazy weather (i mean let me know if its going to be hot, cold, warm, wet, dry, cloudy, and sunny all it one day so I can wear a rain coat with a wool lining, over top of a wife beater, with some slacks under my shorts and a fresh pair of galashes(sp?))

But it hasn't been entirely bad. To all those that I was able to share laughs with and make laugh thru my words I wish you the best weekend ever and I do hope that you have an opportunity to get out and enjoy some of the weather the climate gods decided to bless us with, I sure plan too!!!

At the end of the day, Just laugh about it.....Much Love
~feenix
p.s. happy birthday "queen" of no country!!!! luv ya

The Enemy...

If you are not familiar with 295, I am sure you have some road in your town that is just like it, then let me give you some history. Its a major 2-lane (in each direction) highway/rd in the DMV that is as unpredictable as the weather. You never know if you will be in a traffic jam or it will be smooth sailing. So today, like any other day, I embark on my 8 minute journey to work. For whatever reason these non-drives like to hold up both lanes, and it creates traffic and extended travel times. So I am about 4 cars back and I begin to plan my "escape" from the line of cars that are inching along because of this truck(which is understandable) and the viking looking Volvo driver behind him. So just as I make my escape move so does the Volvo....SHITE! and as I look in my rear view mirror it appears that every other car behind me was thinking the same thing because we all went at the same time. Then the viking wants to play driving games......

He begins to break check and apply his breaks, so as soon as I got the opportunity I swerved around him and proceeded on my way. As the driving gods would have it, the viking was going in the same direction as I. So I got the feeling he was on stalker status and following me. So to make sure I looped around the parking lot a few times passing numerous open spaces to see if he would follow me and he did. So I finally said OK there must be something he wants to say and I don't have time to play this game with him AT 8:00 in the morning.... So he parks next to me and I pretend as if I don't see him (something done frequently, refer to posting 'NONVERSATION') and he knocks on my window. So I give him the courtesy crack in the window, you know that one that is barely even a crack and say "may i help you..."

The viking has the nerve to say "...you really shouldn't tailgate, because I would hate for you or I to get hurt.." I said I wasn't tailgating you But I, like the 20 cars behind me were trying to get by you so that we can proceed on to work but instead you feel the need to play parking war games in the middle of rush hour traffic. Maybe you should try refraining from those shenanigans..Have a good day" and rolled my window back up....


The Enemy.....

Nonversations...

Ok there are just some places where I am not particularly interested in having a conversation, and that place is the public restroom. First off, it is high on my list of the most disgusting places known to man and I try to spend as limited amount of time in there as possible, so for it to be prolonged by NONVERSATION( completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon) just doesn't sit well with me....

So here I am walking into the bathroom and in the mirror I can see the guy that I don't particularly like to converse with but it comes with the territory. And since technically he was behind the bathroom door he made it easy for me to pretend he wasn't there (something that i am extremely good at) but that didn't mean he wasn't going to acknowledge me...SHITE! So he is talking to me and I dont get anything he said because it all sounded like penguin talk (I happen to think he resembles the penguin from Batman 2: a la Danny DeVito) so I just laugh as if I agree. Then the punchline comes.... "Do you know the acronym for Thursday..." so here I am focusing on relieving my bladder and here comes this off the wall question about acronyms...So before I could answer (which I had no intentions of doing) he says: " So Happy Its Thursday" or S.H.I.T..... Talk about bathroom conversation~Geesh

Healthcare or Healthcrap?

So if you are like me, then you are wondering what the eff happened to healthcare and the pride that went with the industry. The emergency room has now become the Dr's office and real emergencies no longer take precedence. Maybe I am confused but when did open head wounds, broken bones, fluids leaking from every orafice get grouped with sore throats and school vaccines.(things you should consult your primary care physician for). So now you have all these people grouped in the emergency room looking crazy waiting hours upon hours for treatment only for the ER "Dr." to give you a prescription and a pill and send you home without diagnosing your current ailment....Oh and then they have a nerve to charge for that. What does the description on the bill read " Charged patient for an extended wait in the emergency room where they experienced kids with lack of home training, dodging fist when the brawl broke out, and staff who clearly didn't know what they were doing and chose to take it out on the patient?" --sidebar: since when did hospitals get so nasty and lax on their cleanliness--

So this brings me to my latest life experience with a certain hospital(which shall remain nameless)...So its bad enough you have to go to a hospital but then to be going to visit and see a family member just makes it that much more of a task. So you would expect that to some degree your personal information would be private or protected (a la HIPAA) but that was so not the case. Not only was the patients information lying around for the entire world to see, the staff had the nerve to get jazzy when asked to protect it. WTF?????

When does Paranoia become overkill?

Okay its quite alright for you to be paranoid. I do believe it keeps you on your P's and Q's... However, does the constant saftey measures and security features(on the most minimal objects and tasks) cause you to beleive that everyone is after you, ever make you wonder what kind of acts you may have committed in a past life? Or for that matter, the acts you have committed in this life. If this is the kind of person you are do you ever get the feeling that the people around you really dont know who you are? Why do you think every cop is after you...even the ones on the otherside of the highway. At what point does paranoia become overkill...the results of which make you live a life where the fun is sucked completely from it.

Good Samaritan...

So recently I have been stopping for people that have gotten in car accidents where I have witnessed the events. I don't know something within me just makes me stop. I believe it comes from the fact that I would want someone to stop for me if the shoe was on the other foot. Luckily, I have been blessed to not need assistance from any passer-byers in any of my car accidents. --sidebar: did i just say in any of my car accidents like its been so many, LOL. well it has been quite a few--but nonetheless I am going to recount the events from last night. So I am traveling home from class on RT 50 and all I am thinking about is how I can't wait to get in the shower climb in bed, and watch tv. So as I am driving a car on the opposite side of the highway flashes his lights a few times, and if you are familiar with driving codes you know that means there is a cop in the area. So I slow down cuz I have a heavy foot then I see brake lights...So now I am paying close attention and as I am passing I see what appears to be a crumpled pile of metal off in a ditch and it was extremely dark outside. So I pull onto the shoulder and back up...As I get out of the car I hear this girl screaming at the top of her lungs and crying. So I say to myself "oh wow I finally get to see a bloody body.." So as I approach the mangled car I realize that it was just her and another girl in the car. Another guy had already pulled over and he was in the car looking for the girls cell phone. I stand off to the side and realize no one has called 911.(Why does the 911 operator ask your name after you tell her whats going on?)

So I take a closer look at the girl that was screaming after she calms down and I wonder where she was on her way to with that outfit...a total H.A.M. But upon a closer look I realize that home girl pee'd her skirt cuz she wasn't wearing pants. I say to myself "self that must have been some accident.." and then another dude gonna say to me I know this aint the time or place but shorty is phat....I'm like she has a pee stain...are you serious???????????????

What does that say about him? Its sad how regardless of the situation body parts are the focus and this gives women the false belief that what they are doing and how they look is appropriate. Here this poor girl is jacked up, hair all over her head, mini skirt piss soaked, stockings got runs in them, make up running down her face, car tore up, and all homeboy is focused on is how phat she is in her piss soaked to small mini-skirt......

Back Down Memory Lane...

Sometimes it is so good to travel back down memory lane. When you speak to old friends and you recant(sp?) all the things you did together. Well during my freshmen year(I think) in undergrad I met G.W.G. who is now one of my very very good friends. From the inception of our friendship, it has been a nonstop rollercoaster of laughs among other things.

Never will forget the day we first met. I was working in the advisement office of the business school(my major) and I came in late and noticed there was a change in staff. ( I miss you Shonda)and we gave eachother this look that translated into "WTF is that?" LOL its so funny when you look back on it because at that moment we had to decide mentally are we going to be friends or enemies...So glad that friendship won the battle. Since that day we were inseperable. Hitting all the hot spots in Philly: FiveSpot (Remember the snowstorm?), Midtown Diner, Shampoo, 13th street, Mad4Mex($5 margaritas and hot wings Friday starting at 11pm), Martini Cafe, South Street and all the spots in between. This was my buddy until the end. So much so that it is so hard to be embarassed when you have friends like that. I will never forget the day that I was on my way to their house, it was a Friday so it was hit the streets night, and I was looking good. --sidebar: HA HA as always the case even when I am looking bad--and I was getting off of the 'L' and the ground was wet. I had on a pair of black flightposits and where the arch of the foot is the shoe had rubber. The rubber hit the tip of the steps(back then the steps had metal on them) and next thing I know I am on the ground, IN THE MIDDLE OF RUSH HOUR! Aside from embarassment I was upset that I messed up my white 'T'....Luckily for me my best bud had a washer and dryer LOL. These are the kinds of stories that make life and friendships so valuable.

I will always love you G.W.G and I thank you for giving me some of the greatest memories of my life!!!!

Luxurious..Or Not? Personal Review of the 40/40 Club-Atlantic City

So okay by now everyone should have heard of the 40/40 club(s) owned by the "Jigga" Man himself, but it is quite clear that he doesn't run them or even visit them after they open unless you happen to be in NYC. So lets start with the mediocre excitement we(the group of people I attended with) had at attending in the first place. So we get dressed and we had to run to the gas station to get a few things....We asked one of the natives of Atlantic City where it was located and what they thought of the club... Native response "its overated and expensive for no reason, you should probably go to the Tropicana if you want to have more fun" we fell out laughing "like damn, thats how you feel about it?So nonetheless we attend anyway cuz we had to see for ourselves....We park and go to get in line which was suprisingly short (our second clue) for the 40/40 clunb A.C. While we are standing here comes this little girl (literally) who asks if we want to get a table...So me being inquisitive and no stranger to ACTUAL TABLE SERVICE I asked what they considered table service and what came with..... you pick a bottle of whatever type of liquor/beverage you would like and its a price attached. Moet $265 Remy $490 etc etc etc So we were like kool lets do it...So she took my ID and my form of payment and we by passed the extremely short line LMAO! This is where I almost got locked up...........So we go in and I am the head of the line (security was a little too friendly with parts of my body) so I already felt some type of way after being discreetly molested by "cojack" on the front door. ----sidebar BY THE WAY, you would have thought we were about to enter the Matrix with all the black trench coats, shades (at 12:30am) and earpieces the 100 door staff wore--- So I walk in first cuz I was in front of the line and I provided the form of payment and this is where my expectations fell short...way short...almost to hell short.... when you walk in the door you walk right on the dance square, because there is no floor, it has the feeling of a warehouse or maybe a ware-shack. So we follow her to the steps that lead to the alleged VIP section. She leads us to the "table" which happens to be some miniature ottamans/ottomans (sp?) that were quite IKEA like AND NOT TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD TO ASK A PATRON TO REMOVE HIS ASS FROM ONE OF THE OTTOMANS that we already "paid" for. Livid was not even the word to use. I am someone that frequents upper level events, functions, and establishments and for what you pay and what they offer I damn near cussed homegirl out. Instead I politely said if this is what we get for THAT amount of money then No, Thank you, what is the next option? So she tried to explain the concept of a "swing seat" in a noisy club...after 2 attempts I just said show me...She pointed, they were cute, so I asked how many do we get...SHE REPLIED "1"....I had enough...I came in with "4" people and she was offering ONE seat. So I said you know what, give me my ID and my money i'm not even about to entertain this. This ____________(insert whatever explitive you prefer) had the nerve to say well you bypassed the line. I looked at her and said thats fine we'll leave. -----sidebar BYPAST THE LINE, YOU MEAN THE 5-8 PEOPLE THAT WERE IN FRONT OF US--- But back to the regularly scheduled program: To say the least I am thoroughly disgusted with the 40/40 Club Atlantic City, and I will say you can enter at your own risk....I am not sure what you are used to or how you define luxury but that was sooooooooooooooo not a place I would frequent

Causin' Harm...

Does anyone other than myself wonder why the public school system, parents included, allowed the removal of some very important classes from the educational program? Let's start with physical education(also known to some as Gym). This is one of the primary reasons why the youth of today are fat! Lets not try to mask it by calling it obese...Its fat when your 10 year old child, niece, nephew can fit your clothes and you are a 5'7-5'11 woman and a full grown 6'0-6'5 man. Remove the fork from your childs hand and just stand firm...Sometimes you just have to say no. Physical activity was vital to the health and wellness of the youth. I know all of you pre-beyonce and lil' wayne consumers remember what it was like to leave your house at 10:00am and run and play all day and come back home when it was time for dinner exhausted, ready to bathe, eat and call it a night...ONLY TO GET UP AND DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW. Now kids are so lazy and just want to watch tv, eat , watch tv, talk on phone, text, and eat. They are okay with being fat....I DON'T GET IT! But there are several other factors that affect youth fat-ness (black folks love to make up words)... the fact that parents are too busy trying to climb the corporate ladder that fast food, junk food, carry-out(DMV) and the corner store snacks are unfortuante substitutes for a home cooked meal. I can still remember the days when my mother would be riding up the block from work (yes i grew up in a two-parent household and yes my mother worked) and i would run along side the car and ask "whats for dinner" and she had a menu prepared. The menu consisted of pork chops, man n cheese, baked beans, maybe a veggie, beverages or sometimes we had breakfast for dinner (that was common in my house) or we had fried chickecn rice and veggies. ---sidebar: some veggies i never cared for like carrots and mixed veggies which prompted hour long debates of why i wouldn't eat it before i was able to leave the table--- but the point i am making is that home cooked meals and physical activity kept us healthy active and most of all free from extra weight and health issues. I bet if you took a poll of the kids you come in contact with 99% of them don't get home cooked meals and if they do its not on a regular basis....How about the removal of basic science classes from the curriculum (sp?) People often wonder why I don't venture out in inclimate weather. My only answer is because people DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE WHEN ITS DRY AND THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE OUT THERE WHEN ITS WET...and then it becomes clear to them. What makes people think that you can execute the same driving manuevers on soaking wet pavement that you can on dry ground...I DONT NEED THE INCONVENIENCE...--sidebar: And to all the brake riders out there...please take your foot off! If you fail to put gas in your car and it hits "E" you car will not go right?..same concept, if you take your foot off the gas pedal, gas will stop flowing, and your car will slow down. NO NEED TO BRAKE AND HOLD IT!---back to the lack of common scientific knowledge: look up hydroplane, skidding, loosing control, etc and this will expalin why you cant do 90 miles per hour, approaching stopped traffic only to try to brake (too hard in most cases) run into the back of someone and then look around like it aint ya fault...but until this is put back into schools and people began to learn why physics is so important while driving I WILL CONTINUE TO STAY IN DURING INCLIMATE WEATHER.We can't change because its more of them than there is us.... Us being defined as those who understand the above therefore act accordingly.

Is it just me....

What has the world come to where people who ARE CLEARLY WRONG IN THEIR ACTIONS feel the need to catch attitude when you address their wrong doing. Let me elaborate....Some of you know, and many of you don't, but I dont have the best temper. It goes from 0-60 very quickly which doesn't leave alot of room for you to explain once you done set me off. So as I go thru these couple of examples I want you to honestly assess my actions and theirs and form your own opinion....----sidebar: This is how I catch cases--Example 1: Chipotle has got to be the best fast food mexican joint around (DMV) so as you know during lunch(well all day for that matter) chipotle is off the hook. ---sidebar: since when did black folks start to each so much mexican-- anyhoo, I am leaving and riding down what you would call the "isle" for lack of a better term and two young girls (wont call them ladies because they were everything but) and so I proceeded behind them slowly hoping they wouild move out of the way, they didnt. So I don't have time for this crap, and I politely tooted my horn to let them know that someone driving a couple tons of steel was waiting to go by. These effin' baby carriers gonna look back and roll they eyes and keep walking like THEY had the right of way in the middle of the damn street. Temper is rising, its about at a 55 at this point so I roll down the window and say "GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE STREET" and the one who know she is about 2 shakes from catchin and S.E. beatdown says "YOU AINT GONNA DO SHIT" not a good thing to say to someone who's fuse is short and already lit. Next think you know tires start spinning and now she wants to move, and might i add RATHER QUICKLY....See people need to understand that not everyone is sane so you shouldn't just be effin' with people because you think you are invincible.... She don't know me and I could have been off my meds or something like that and flipped out and ran her over a few times. Its kinda hard to press charges and sue someone when your DEAD! Morbid I know but that is the truth of the matter and the world we live in. I am not crazy (ok maybe a little bit) but I am provoked.......Example 2: March 30, 2009 about 7:00pm I am riding down GA ave headed towards Howard U and this guy (black) of course is crossing in the middle of the street without looking. So do I feel obligated to release gas pressure,...not in the least. But I am kind enough to toot my horn. Well I guess he felt I should have slowed down and allowed him to ILLEGALLY cross the street so he decided to throw something at my car. SUCH A HUGE MISTAKE! Not sure if many of you have seen Charlies Angels 1 (if not check it out just for this scene) I busted a "U" that puts Cameron D's to shame cuz homie had me eff'd up. I pulled up along side his soccer mom van so close that if I would have pulled off my mirror would have broke his back. See he didn't think I would do such a thing. And I had to relax, relate, release because I had my sister in the car and we didn't need no unexpected child deliveries on my good leather seats and charcoal grey carpet, and she kindly informed me that it was only gum he threw..which I do believe is irrelevant seeing as how he shouldn't have been upset nor throwing things in the first place. I guess he wanted to get clubbed, cuz I dont have no problems goin' upside ya head...they just don't lock your steering wheel!The aboved mention incident (bussin' "U's" in the middle of the street that reminded me of an Incident last summer where I pulled over the school bus. YES I SAID PULLED OVER THE SCHOOL BUS as if I was an officer. So I am riding down what is known here as Allentown Road and some little hooker decides she wants to throw a soda bottle of the school bus window and hit my car. Well they thought it was quite funny until I made the bus come to a complete stop. Details begin here- So I hear a loud thump so I look in my rear view and I see the bottle rolling down the back windshield so I'm like "hell to the naw bobby" so I pull along side the bus and honk but he either doesn't hear the honk or pretends not to hear it( i wouldn't want to ride his bus) but he doesnt stop. So I pulled my car in front of the bus and stop, put it in park, and get out forcing the bus to stop. Mind you this is the middle of the street and flowing traffic. Now everybody on the bus looking stupid. He opens the door I say look someone on your bus threw a bottle out the window and hit my car so how do we proceed from here. He lookin all dumb so I say you got one of 2 options call the police or go back to the school ,he chooses the school so I make him buss a "U" in the middle of the street and go back to the school and we go from there and PG police take the girl off the bus. But they all mad at me....WTF???????????In conclusion, I am convinced that I might be a little off the richter, but with these kind of people living among us who wouldn't be....where are my pills? LOL