Was She Eff'n Serious...?

So its Friday and for whatever reason I was on hostage status. What I mean is that I was hungrier than a hostage (cuz you know they don't get fed...) So I am sitting at my desk contemplating what I wanted to eat for lunch. I had a taste for something light and airy a la Jane Fonda but unfortunately that was out of my "reach"... So I decided upon one of my favorites, PIZZA!

So I get to the pizza place and to my disappointment they didn't have any cheese or pepperoni pizza prepared. I'm like WTF...its lunch time, are you serious? So as I approach the register I ask the cashier (is that still the politically correct term for the help that takes your money?) what did she have coming out, and she replies "...oh those are personal orders..." I just say thanks and I walk away. The subway at that location has a small issue with KEEPING THEIR FREAKIN' BREAD SOFT so that wasn't an option. So I figure what the hell, Burger King is always a good solution.

Now I am very specific in how I eat certain things because it depends on my mood. So I order an original chicken sandwich with ONLY cheese and mayo...cut in half...simple right? WRONG they fuck it up! You know once your food is prepared and they place it on the warmer for it to be bagged...well the sandwich maker (cuz i don't' know what she would be called besides the HELP) takes the sandwich off the warmer and states "...oh I messed that up...) now that peaks my interest so I watch her to make sure that isn't my sandwich. She opened the wrapper, scrapped off the extra crap she put on it and re-wrapped it, but I still had to make sure it was mine before I made a scene. When they called my number, I immediately said "I WANT A REFUND..." I was asked "...so you don't want this.." and I said "no I was watching the sandwich maker and when she realized she messed up my order she scrapped the extra shit off and proceeded to re-wrap it and serve it to me..." the clerk gonna have the nerve to ask me which station did I witness it (are you serious?) and then she asked "would you like for me to personally go make your food?" and I said " No thank you, I am thoroughly disgusted and all I want is my money..."

Suppose I was allergic to the extras she put on the sandwich? Supposed I was in the drive-thru and never witnessed this with my ojos?

Customer service ha....boy is that a joke!

~feenix

Looking into myself...

So you know how hard it is to look into yourself and listen to the truth that you know is there? Well I am dealing with that today, and like always the best way for me to deal is by writing. So here is the issue....

Am I really capable of just being your friend when there is a romantic interest there? That is the question that has presented itself more recently than I care to acknowledge, but its the truth. From the situation with my "EX" and them making it a point to say to me that "...because we can't be together in a loving, romantic relationship that I don't want to deal with them on a friend level either..." Of course when they said that I was like whatever you have no idea what you are talking about... However, the more I thought about it the more I wondered if there was some truth to that. Sidebar: I must say that I had a GREAT weekend and it was finished off nicely with a trip to the Crime and Punishment Museum. No I did not go alone and the company was GREAT! So we made plans to hang out during the week. I contacted them today to set up the day and time for our outing and what we wanted to do for the evening. Once that was decided blah blah blah....Fast forward to 30 minutes ago... I receive a text, and before I could check it 2 more came through. Now someone of my texting magnitude instantly knew that this was a long text that probably explained something...so with dread I checked it. Now here is where I do something that I NORMALLY DON'T DO... I am going to transcribe the entire text and post it here.

Text reads: " I need to be straight up with u. Nothing personal...all on me... I'm not exactly sure what expectations are but to clear the air...I'm just really looking for friends...just kinda getting out of a relationship and I don't want anything other than friends right now."

My response: "K"... I mean was there really anything i could say after that. But instantly I wondered if I should even bother with the plans that we already made. And that's what brought me to my current self purposed question...Can I really be your friend if there is a romantic attraction?


feexnix is in emotional trouble...can you help?

I should be getting paid...

Main Entry: ther·a·pist

Pronunciation: \ˈther-ə-pist\

Function:noun

: one specializing in therapy ; especially : a person trained in methods of treatment and rehabilitation other than the use of drugs or surgery

So feenix is a self-proclaimed therapist. Earning street cred with abilities to listen and provide sound advice in various situations ranging from minute to traumatic. I must have the ability to listen because people, strangers included, feel the spiritual need to share their problems and life and relationship struggles with me...AND THEY EXPECT ME TO RESPOND WITH ADVICE. So I have developed the cat like prowess of a "traditional" therapist and can switch roles like that of a magician to provide you with the concrete solid sound stern advice needed to pull you up by your boot straps and stop being the door mat to the prison you call your life. Man/Woman-up, no bitchassness allowed! A person once asked me "...how are they treating you...?" My response was "...they can only treat me how I allow them to..." Damn was that profound or what, I guess this is why I am the resident therapist in the lives of others...

At the drop of a dime I will spin around with my yellow legal sized note pad, pencil, and frames slightly on the edge of my nose listening intently to the thoughts and shenanigans of others...

Advice given with love, tough love, but love nonetheless....

I should be getting paid...but I can't charge because I am not licensed.

~feenix

Excuse me "Ms"...

disclaimer

n. [Usenet] Statement ritually appended to many reiterating the fact (which should be obvious, but is easily forgotten) that the article/statement reflects its author's opinions and not necessarily those of the organization running the "machine" through which the article/statement is created.

Now that we have that out of the way...

"I in no way, shape, or form have the ill intent to offend anyone with soft manly features, henceforth referred to as "Ms" and to belittle their manhood in anyway." ~feenix

Good Morning 'feenix magazine' readers on this wonderful edition of "TAKE IT EASY THURSDAYS"... Let me know what you think of my gym experience last night.

So I am gradually reaching a point in my adult life where I pretty much say whats on my mind. (with tact of course...or as tactful as the situation will allow) So you know that the gym is the best place to see people from all walks of life, cultures, backgrounds, and all those will all types of leisure lifestyles...

So recently I have been seeing this guy at the gym and I have been quite confused about him because of his androgynous features among other things. What I mean is that he has no facial hair, NONE! And high cheekbones, a la Cher, Long curly black hair with sandy brown highlights on top...So already you can see why I am confused. But take away the face, and he has the body of a muscular soccer player... So I had to wait for the perfect opportunity. My mom always tells me "...you got the perfect timing..."

Fast Forward to 5/20/2009...I see and I ask "...Do you do impersonations...?" He says "What?" Now I know there is a slight language barrier, tacos and mangoes, but the question was quite clear. So I think it was one of those "whats" that translated into "I heard you but I want to make sure" So in true feenix fashion, I repeated the question. "Do you do impersonations?" He responded with "Oh no ha ha" and I say "You have a very soft face..." He laughs and says "...with this body...?" and I say "hey you never know" and here I thought the conversation was over. But nope he hit me with the coup de grace and said "...I have not gotten that far yet..." Whoa! LOL

The Androgynous Man...

~feenix

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T...

Oh how I long for the days when the words "my" and "supervisor" are no longer used in the same sentence. Where I can come to work when I please and get MY duties done without the useless input of a less qualified jack a** who is only in their position because NEPOTISM is still alive and used often. The days where minute (sp?) issues such as being 5 mins "late" when you didn't even know that you were late are not discussed first thing in the morning, or at all for that matter. The days where communication is used to foster competitive advantage and used to uplift, build, and grow and not used as a means of backstabbing and deception. Oh how I "LOVE" corporate america...(sidebar: It just became clear why most political officials were/are corporate employees/CEOs/managers) It definitely is a transferable skill, LOL.

With the help of the LORD and determination, drive, patience, focus, and tough skin this may be a reality much sooner than later. My dream of EARLY retirement may not be a dream anymore. Where the world will be at my fingertips and thereby at the fingertips of all those that are close to me. WHEN I WIN, YOU WIN! I need to carve the key that will unlock the doors that I want to walk through...

I give you CharacterYou, LLC...followed by CharacterYou.com...It's Official!!! ~Amen

Reg, my brother in spirit, we did it! Have fun in Africa for the summer, when you get back we have work to do!

~feenix

Who has the bail $...?

Now I am truly against random violence but sometimes you have to ask yourself, was there really another option that would get your point across as clearly as an "ass whoopin'" would. Check out the following letter that was sent into the Steve Harvey show and please share your thoughts... Mine have already been shared in the previous post 'Roles Reversed'.....

It's something ELSE! the Strawberry Letter from the Steve Harvey Morning Show...

Subject: Husband has 3 kids out of marriage to crack head....

Dear Steve and Shirley, I have been married for the last 6 years and together for over 11. I found out Friday that my husband has 3 kids (that are not mine of course) since we have been married. The only reason why I found out is because their mother is now back on Crack and said she doesn't want them nor her 16 year old daughter and he wants full custody of those kids (including the 16yr old that isn't his). Steve, Shirley, I am so hurt right now. I told him no way in the world do I want to raise someone elses kids. I didn't deserve this and I have been nothing but a good wife and mother. Our 4 kids don't deserve this. I am the only one working and am struggling to make ends meet. I don't think that it is fair to take away from my kids to give to his love children. I told him that I want a divorce and I don't want him or those kids in the house. He told me that he is bringing them anyway and if I don't let him in, our kids will. What do I do? He got to the oldest child and now she is saying "mommy, the kids didn't ask for this and god would be happy if I helped them." I cannot do it. What would you do? Crying since Friday.

Hell Hath No Fury....

~feenix

Spotted...All Points Bulletin

Spotted...Assaulter (refer to blog posting 'I've Been Assaulted...')

So readers, to my amazement I saw the guy that left me traumatized last week. So I am walking towards the ab-section of the gym -sidebar: Body gettin' right, eat your heart out Jane Fonda- and you know how you think you saw something but doubt yourself and you ask yourself that haunting question "is that who/what I think it is..." Sho' nuff it was him and all I could think was "does he remember me and if so, PLEASE DON'T LET HIM SPEAK TO ME... Lawd knows that I would not have been able to handle it the same as I did last week and by me being famished and near black-out status from my diet of water and Tylenol I may have just said something that would have been offensive... But should I have been that considerate of his feelings when he was far less considerate to my sense of smell and what it would do to my stomach to be approached with that oral sewer he calls a mouth?

Needless to say, that was the quickest ab workout of my Jane Fonda career and I got the EF outta dodge before another SHITE covered projectile launched in my direction.

Is it too much to ask for the "boys" in blue with the job-title SWAT (sidebar2: I think SWAT translates into "We have the right to EF a Mutha'effer up) to put a cease and desist plan of action in place to capture and destroy the oral offender?

Flashback....

~feenix

Friends...Is it possible?

So feenix magazine readers, I dare you to answer the age old question "Is a friendship with an ex really, I mean really, possible. So let me nip it in the bud before you start with the obvious answers. 1) yes you can be friends if you were truly friends before you started dating 2) I don't see why not if you are mature enough to handle it 3) I don't care what they do with their life after me 4) AND THE LIST GOES ON...but you can stop your lying now!

Hell no! you cannot be friends with them, especially if you are going by the definition of what a friend is supposed to be. No they will not be there to listen when the next has hurt you, just like you wouldn't be able to handle that either. No you will not want to hear about the next. Yes you will compare the next to you and try and figure out why, why, WHYYYYYY!!??? Yes you will feel some type of way when you see them with someone else and what will make it worse is that you will not be looking your best and have to be introduced as the "ex"... unless they are totally EF'D up and don't bother to introduce you...your spirit will be beyond crushed (more like deceased) No the relationship will never be the same and now that you are on "friend" status you will have a little hope that things will go back to how they were and they will be more than a friend. As hopeful and hallmark card as this may sound, ITS REALLY A SET UP! You will be emotionally unavailable to anyone else and if you don't reconcile you will feel hurt and betrayed all over again.

Friendship is not supposed to cause you so much grief. Your friends are where you go to escape and let your hair down. To get away from the monotony of everyday life and romantic relationships...Does the above read like a true friendship, HELL NO! So when you break up can you stop with the "we can still be friends" speech, where is it written that that should be the follow up line to "i don't think this is working; i don't want to see you anymore; you make me sick; blah blah blah and all the other break up lines"

What you know about that Wednesdays here at 'feenix" magazine...Drop your thoughts and remember the spirit of the 'feenix' is within.....


~feenix

Roles Reversed...

feenix magazine readers let me introduce you to the "new breed." These are the disappointing creatures that have the nerve to call themselves MEN and by doing so happen to be pissin' off those of us that truly fit the image that is MAN. Where do I begin...should it be with the laziness; the bitchassedness; the lack of drive and ambition; the gender bending (not to be confuse with homosexuality cuz that is not where I am going with that); or the down right ugliness that makes me look at them with disgust. (wow that sounded kind of harsh in my head so I wonder what it sounds like to you LOL)

Scenario 1~ You, the man, are okay with your girlfriend/wife/baby mama/jump off/shawty/"friend" or whatever "colorful" term you choose to use getting up everyday and going to work while you roll over scratch yo' balls and lay around playing video games all day with your boys. You may cook and you may clean (highly unlikely, but there are a few that do..Hey HAM) and you have to wait till she gets her check before you can go do anything that requires spending money.

Scenario 2~ You drive like a straight up BITCH! Maybe that comes from being raised by single woman they are teaching you to drive like woman too; and cry like women (everything hurts your feelings) WTF is up wit that? UGH....R.I.P. Trade....

Scenario 3~ There is no lease/mortgage/car note, registration, insurance policy in your name. You are okay with living with your girlfriend/wife/baby mama/jump off/shawty/"friend" until she makes you mad then you go stay with a new girlfriend/wife/baby mama/jump off/shawty/"friend". You drive her car, live in her house, eat her food that was probably purchased with her GOVERNMENT CREDIT CARD. She didn't go out and get a MAN, she picked up another child to raise...I supposed this is the new adoption system. Or maybe its Nigga Nannies take care of him and he will babysit ya kids! That's what I call paying in trade.

Scenario 4~ Gender bending. So lets add it all up. The girlfriend/wife/baby mama/jump off/shawty/"friend" goes to work brings home the bacon while their "man" plays mommy and tends to the home life (if the woman was fortunate enough to pick that type of man) Added to the bitchassness that was instilled in them by the life of a single mother mixed with the blurred line between male and female fashions (sidebar: because the boys go and steal skinny jeans from the girls department) give you the ultimate representation of how the current roles have been reversed....

Sho' sucks to be a woman these days... or maybe not, just pick your "men" better.


Share your thoughts~

~feenix

I've Been Assaulted...

Ok readers, I could not wait to post this so I am going to jump right into it. I WAS ASSAULTED AT THE GYM LAST NIGHT...no not physically per se (although that might not have been a bad thing) but assaulted nonetheless. This guy came up to me and started talking and I thought somebody SHITED in my nostrils. I mean was there a sewage back-up and I didn't get the memo....I know he had to taste it....but let me give you some history.

So I enter the gym and see all of the Wizard Girls in their wizard skimpy attire. So I knew something fishy was going on...Fast forward to pre-assault! So I am about to get my ab-crunch on (sidebar: do you know how many muscles are in your stomach, OMG!) and this guy walks up to me and says, with a thick accent, look at the girls. That's when I was karate kicked in my nose with a SHITE covered combat boot. I could have sworn that there was a septic back-up in the immediate vicinity. My thing is this: Do you talk to people at work with that mouth? Has no one told you that it is offensive to change their oxygen without permission?

Assaulted with a deadly weapon...

~feenix

Fireisms...

So today I am going a different route. You know how you are in a certain situation and it calls for the immediate creation of a word...Well let me introduce you to one of my "fire"isms...

Today's term is WAY'FD which translates into way fucked up...as in "you got me way fucked up" to be used in any situation where another is just dead wrong in thinking that you are going for that.

I.E. your boss wants you to walk 8 blocks in the rain to Starbucks for a mocha late' (small to boot) that's where you would insert ____________________(your response) followed by YOU GOT ME WAY'FD.

So my delightfully dedicated followers...I challenge you to post your own "...isms" in response to this post!


~feenix

Broken Record...

So should I feel bad that I was unable to make them see the error of their ways? Should I feel bad that they insist on blaming me for the termination of our relationship (for a lack of a better term, believe me)? Or should I just be glad that no matter what I don't have to be bothered with it again?

Today, like the rest of last week, I have been in an extensive email conversation with the other. It's been back and forth about why I ended it and how I am a quitter because I "gave up"... Drama right? Well I say I didn't give up I just love myself more so what is the point of staying in a situation where it doesn't appear to be getting better? I will admit that it was a tad emotional only because we detailed somethings about our relationship that could have been left unsaid and I finally learned somethings that I didn't know before, but at the end of the day the result was the same, Cease and Desist.... there are so many dynamics to the story but some things should remain private.

But at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself was it or is it even worth it. Worth it to continue to repeat yourself? Worth it to hear statements that in your heart you know you don't agree with? Just a mess.....

But there is a light at the end of this tunnel and their name is ME... I love myself more than I've ever known, so put that in ya pipe and smoke it!

As my skin bubbles to a crisp and the flame of life engulfs me, my last breath is my first as I rise from the ashes... The spirit is within me....'feenix'

~feenix