Afternoon feenix magazing readers, today's topic is about TRUST! Now this issue is very close to my heart because I deal with it more often than not. Here's the situation... my day has been blah to say the least. Now it didn't start off that way, but the relationship Gods saw fit to make my day less than stellar. I woke up feeling good and preparing myself for my day. Even so much my SO surprised me with breakfast from my favorite spot. How sweet, right? That's what I thought too...Yet as I peeked in the kitchen my SO was engrossed in typing a text message and failed to realize that I was standing there. So after I brushed my teeth and washed my face I went into the kitchen to dig in...
As I took the first bite, there was this naggin sensation in the pit of my stomach and I tried to shake it off and call it hunger pains but in the essence of being real with myself, I had to accept what it was. So I did what you are thinking I did and I instantly lost my appetite. I snooped....
The thing about trust though is that once its broken then its very hard to get back in any shape or form, especially in a relationship. So let me take you back... there have been situations throughout our romance that have been questionable and these questionable acts have left us broken and damaged. I will be the first to admit that, but I will also be the first to admit that we are working on a comeback. Because I like to believe that a setback is a setup for a comeback. So my trust level is bordering tolerable to say the least. Now since our decision to forge ahead I have been diligently working at keeping my promise to myself and not snoop or look for things that will drive a wedge between us...but mama didn't raise no fool and I found myself fighting between two promises, the promise not to snoop and the promise to listen to my gut when its trying to tell me something. Needless to say my gut won and I pressed the view button on the text message screen. Did I mention that I instantly lossed my appetite?
Fast forward, so being that I am not one that is good at hiding what I am thinking my SO new instantly that my mood had changed. And of course the standard "what's wrong?" followed. I responded with the standard "nothing" but I believe I was more hurt than anything, because of our past, and I just wanted to get out of this space that was suddenly becoming suffocating...
So I bring it to my readers. Is it more wrong that I snooped or is it more wrong for the type of conversation that my SO was having via text message?
Until next time...
~feenix
The Open Relationship
2 years ago
5 comments:
Well they do always say...be careful what you're snooping for cause you JUST MIGHT FIND IT!
I mean honestly, this is obviously something that was gonna take a little more than a verbal promise to get over.....trust takes more trust to heal and some times, the same curiosity that killed the cat, comes to sit on your shoulder and sound all types of alarms....many that can turn out to be false and you are left without feeling....so youve got to choose....either move on or move out...dont keep wasting time when you are gonna let your curiosity win...
Blue phi, you are absolutely right and I truly appreciate the response and advice. It's a tough road and I do have to make a choice. It just has to be the choice I can live with.
~feenix
Ask and it shall be given. Seek and ye shall find. You're not wrong for snooping just be able to handle the information u encounter
Twin... we have to tendency to snoop because its part of our nature to hunger for the truth, not be made a fool of... However you shouldn't have checked the messages because everything you do in the dark comes to light and God would have revealed it in due time...
uh uh fck all that! SO was wrong hiding stuff...smh cant trust nobody...everyone is a snake until proven a human #jerk
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