The Crunch Is On...

I just ran smack dead into the wall some call reality. I have reached a point/age in my life, which I am thankful for, where I can honestly reflect and answer questions about what went right and what went a different direction that I had planned. For all purposes of this blog post, I am going to focus more on the latter. At my current age on 50% of the goal I set for myself has been obtained, and that is the "living like a white woman" part where I lunch during the day, drive fast in my car, and do things that I want to do on a daily WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE PUNCHING IN AND ANSWERING TO ANYONE INCLUDING A BOSS. As good as this may sound the method in which I have reached this point is not the method I had planned for myself. My method included me retiring at this particular age and being able to completely fund my white woman operation!

Well the funding is becoming depleted and I am in a state of panic because I have to stop the proverbial blood loss immediately. This may mean giving up my freedom of independence, per se, and going back into the workforce. Just thinking about it gives me the mumps! But this is a result of my plan not being executed the same way I had planned it in my head.


So much for life in the fast lane; But I will say that I enjoyed that life for nearly two years and I was AWESOME! But I can't live off socialite lunches and watercress sandwiches anymore...

~feenix

Resurrection...

So after all these years on earth, I think I now understand what the meaning, for a lack of a better term, of Easter is. I guess it’s the growth you experience in life and the educational successes that come with growing. And quite honestly, it was just a simplistic explanation that triggered the proverbial "light bulb" in my head... I recall my response as being "oh I get it..."

People often wonder what my fascination is with the mythological bird the Phoenix is, and it’s the ability to start anew. Can you imagine what it would be like if we were able to just start over? I for sure would do some things differently and some things I would NEVER change. What better experience to learn from than your own and be able to apply that knowledge in a "do-over".

For me, I recognize the person I see in the mirror and accept the things that can make me better. I want to be a better communicator and I want to be an overall nicer person. I think I am making great strides to do both...So Happy Resurrection Month!


~feenix

Mirror Mirror

All things happen for a reason and I guess at this point the question should not be "why?" but rather "what now?" The mirror serves two purposes: 1) so that you can see what others see and 2) so that you can fix the things that you see. This post speaks to the latter...

I realized some things about myself over the past few days that either I was oblivious to or just subconciously not wanting to address. But whatever the reason I noticed it and now I am oblige to manage the behavior to the best of my ability.

The internal mirror is the object by which you gauge and view yourself. It the thing that points out which behaviors you exhibit are unbecoming of a GREAT person and the traits that are less than desireable. Don't get me wrong I am not speaking of the things that make you who you are, but moreso the you that you show people. I feel guilty about some of the things that roll off my lips and the verbage is immortalized once it is spoken. These are the things that my internal mirror has showed me and I was not pleased.

They say being under the influence allows for the true you to be displayed. If this is so, then I don't like some of the things that were reflected in my mirror. The face I see, I love...the behavior needs work...

~feenix

Barbara Millicent Roberts (own personal blog coming soon)

I know it has been ages since I have posted anything and my life has been nothing short of a whirlwind ride. Travel, family, ups and downs, emotions and everything else you can imagine has been an experience of mine. So much so that you wouldn't believe me unless you were there to be a personal witness...


I will say this though, I have missed writing my blog and have come to realize how theraputic it was for me at one point in my life. As I get back to doing things for me and that make me sane in this crazy world, I will once again take pride in giving others a look into a world as only seen through my eyes.

Be on the lookout...

~feenix