Thoughts and Expressions...

The Crunch Is On...

2011-04-27T12:44:00.000-04:00

I just ran smack dead into the wall some call reality. I have reached a point/age in my life, which I am thankful for, where I can honestly reflect and answer questions about what went right and what went a different direction that I had planned. For all purposes of this blog post, I am going to focus more on the latter. At my current age on 50% of the goal I set for myself has been obtained, and that is the "living like a white woman" part where I lunch during the day, drive fast in my car, and do things that I want to do on a daily WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE PUNCHING IN AND ANSWERING TO ANYONE INCLUDING A BOSS. As good as this may sound the method in which I have reached this point is not the method I had planned for myself. My method included me retiring at this particular age and being able to completely fund my white woman operation!

Well the funding is becoming depleted and I am in a state of panic because I have to stop the proverbial blood loss immediately. This may mean giving up my freedom of independence, per se, and going back into the workforce. Just thinking about it gives me the mumps! But this is a result of my plan not being executed the same way I had planned it in my head.

So much for life in the fast lane; But I will say that I enjoyed that life for nearly two years and I was AWESOME! But I can't live off socialite lunches and watercress sandwiches anymore...

~feenix

Resurrection...

2011-04-25T10:47:00.002-04:00

So after all these years on earth, I think I now understand what the meaning, for a lack of a better term, of Easter is. I guess it’s the growth you experience in life and the educational successes that come with growing. And quite honestly, it was just a simplistic explanation that triggered the proverbial "light bulb" in my head... I recall my response as being "oh I get it..."

People often wonder what my fascination is with the mythological bird the Phoenix is, and it’s the ability to start anew. Can you imagine what it would be like if we were able to just start over? I for sure would do some things differently and some things I would NEVER change. What better experience to learn from than your own and be able to apply that knowledge in a "do-over".

For me, I recognize the person I see in the mirror and accept the things that can make me better. I want to be a better communicator and I want to be an overall nicer person. I think I am making great strides to do both...So Happy Resurrection Month!

~feenix

Mirror Mirror

2011-04-24T19:05:00.004-04:00

All things happen for a reason and I guess at this point the question should not be "why?" but rather "what now?" The mirror serves two purposes: 1) so that you can see what others see and 2) so that you can fix the things that you see. This post speaks to the latter...

I realized some things about myself over the past few days that either I was oblivious to or just subconciously not wanting to address. But whatever the reason I noticed it and now I am oblige to manage the behavior to the best of my ability.

The internal mirror is the object by which you gauge and view yourself. It the thing that points out which behaviors you exhibit are unbecoming of a GREAT person and the traits that are less than desireable. Don't get me wrong I am not speaking of the things that make you who you are, but moreso the you that you show people. I feel guilty about some of the things that roll off my lips and the verbage is immortalized once it is spoken. These are the things that my internal mirror has showed me and I was not pleased.

They say being under the influence allows for the true you to be displayed. If this is so, then I don't like some of the things that were reflected in my mirror. The face I see, I love...the behavior needs work...

~feenix

Barbara Millicent Roberts (own personal blog coming soon)

2011-04-19T16:37:00.003-04:00

I know it has been ages since I have posted anything and my life has been nothing short of a whirlwind ride. Travel, family, ups and downs, emotions and everything else you can imagine has been an experience of mine. So much so that you wouldn't believe me unless you were there to be a personal witness...

I will say this though, I have missed writing my blog and have come to realize how theraputic it was for me at one point in my life. As I get back to doing things for me and that make me sane in this crazy world, I will once again take pride in giving others a look into a world as only seen through my eyes.

Be on the lookout...

~feenix

Not passing judgement...

2010-10-29T14:22:00.002-04:00

So it took me a moment to realize just what the hell was going on...I heard the nail drill in the background (I'm in the spa) but i paid it no mind cuz that's a noise you should hear. But then I began to look around at the people...one woman next to me is getting a pedicure and the woman in front of me is getting her nails painted. So why the drill noise you ask? Well color me shocked when I realized that the MAN in front of me is getting tips put on complete with acrylic...#notjudgingjustshocked

There's Something To This Communication Thing...

2010-10-13T20:18:00.002-04:00

Welcome Back! feenix magazine readers. Today was a much better day!
Now if you didn't read yesterdays blog then you will be a little lost in reading today's. I rewind...Yesterday eveing was an interesting ordeal in the H squared household to say the least. Walking around in perfect silence (something I am very good at) and catching glances out the corner of your eye. But when your with someone and truly care about and love them, it's hard to stay mad for long periods of time, especially when you are in the same place...With that being said:
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT COMMUNICATION...
And "pussy" is power to let my SO tell it, cracking up!

Fast forward to today...Silent treatment was over and today was a much better day. So much so, the SO and I actually discussed what the problem was. And since all of these hard times have happened it's been easier to put things on the table and actually talk about them without feeling like the attacker/attackee; addressing them upfront seems to be the uphill battle.

When the SO returns they will finish dinner and we will enjoy a quiet evening at home on Date Night!

Until next time...
~feenix

The Thing About Trust...

2010-10-12T16:07:00.003-04:00

Afternoon feenix magazing readers, today's topic is about TRUST! Now this issue is very close to my heart because I deal with it more often than not. Here's the situation... my day has been blah to say the least. Now it didn't start off that way, but the relationship Gods saw fit to make my day less than stellar. I woke up feeling good and preparing myself for my day. Even so much my SO surprised me with breakfast from my favorite spot. How sweet, right? That's what I thought too...Yet as I peeked in the kitchen my SO was engrossed in typing a text message and failed to realize that I was standing there. So after I brushed my teeth and washed my face I went into the kitchen to dig in...
As I took the first bite, there was this naggin sensation in the pit of my stomach and I tried to shake it off and call it hunger pains but in the essence of being real with myself, I had to accept what it was. So I did what you are thinking I did and I instantly lost my appetite. I snooped....

The thing about trust though is that once its broken then its very hard to get back in any shape or form, especially in a relationship. So let me take you back... there have been situations throughout our romance that have been questionable and these questionable acts have left us broken and damaged. I will be the first to admit that, but I will also be the first to admit that we are working on a comeback. Because I like to believe that a setback is a setup for a comeback. So my trust level is bordering tolerable to say the least. Now since our decision to forge ahead I have been diligently working at keeping my promise to myself and not snoop or look for things that will drive a wedge between us...but mama didn't raise no fool and I found myself fighting between two promises, the promise not to snoop and the promise to listen to my gut when its trying to tell me something. Needless to say my gut won and I pressed the view button on the text message screen. Did I mention that I instantly lossed my appetite?
Fast forward, so being that I am not one that is good at hiding what I am thinking my SO new instantly that my mood had changed. And of course the standard "what's wrong?" followed. I responded with the standard "nothing" but I believe I was more hurt than anything, because of our past, and I just wanted to get out of this space that was suddenly becoming suffocating...

So I bring it to my readers. Is it more wrong that I snooped or is it more wrong for the type of conversation that my SO was having via text message?

Until next time...
~feenix

He Is Risen...

2010-09-27T20:14:00.003-04:00

Hello loyal feenix~ magazine readers, I know it has been ages since I have graced you with my presence, but dying a fiery death and being reborn takes alot out of you!

So it has been an amazing 365(almost)...

I have been living the life of a white woman! And what I mean by that is that I have had no job and my bills have been paid and paid on time. I do what I want when I want and I just love to allow my internal alarm clock to wake me up.

I will say that I miss the interaction with people outside of my circle that being employed allows, but what I don't miss is:
1) Traffic
2) Ignornace
3) Office politics and back stabbing (my last job one of the managers will stab you in your chest if it meant she could keep her job)
4) Ignorance
5) Needy people that the workplace brings

I have been living MY life and enjoying it!

But with anything there are not so fun times...

I have had health issues that I am blessed to overcome and being in a relationship is just like having a full-time damn job...will explain in the next post, but I digress!

I've had an amazing birthday and blessed to see another full year!
Happy Birthday Sis and niece!

Until next time...

Remember the spirit of the feenix~ is within...

~feenix

Discarding Ashes...

2010-07-29T13:38:00.001-04:00

The Feenix is resurfacing...

Discarding Ashes...

2010-07-29T13:38:00.000-04:00

Thinking Back...

2010-05-17T10:29:00.003-04:00

I remember a time in my life when I was all smiles. Innocence was all I knew and I just enjoyed being a kid. Then life happended and everything that could happen did happen. Welcome to Pandoras' Box...
Idiosyncricies are revealed, you notice the change in people, trust is questioned, the comfort you knew looks and feels strange. How do we cope? We adjust and change to adapt to the changes around us...you become different. Your defensive, aggressive, moody, arrogant, untrusting, manipulative, independent, sassy. Your unrecognizable...
Your hurt. You hurt. You want it to stop. But you don't know how. You've been this stranger for so long that you believe it's you. But the real you is still there you see them in your sleep, they whisper in your ear to help with decisions, you feel them in your gut. That's the original you, but he's rapidly losing life...

I remember a time in my life when I was all smiles. Innocence was all I knew...

Can I be him again?

~feenix

Wondering...

2010-05-13T14:00:00.002-04:00

So in a relationship, of any sort, how do you deal with the drift? You feel it coming. You see it coming. But how do you stop it? Is the lack of not knowing how a result of your sub-conscious desire to say "to hell with it?" Not everyone is fortunate enough to experience the good times, which are usually at the beginning of the relationship, but what do you do when things change. Don't get me wrong some change is good. But when the changes make things worse instead of better you have to ask yourself can I? Am I? Willing to do anything about it...

Sometimes you can't help but wonder about the reasons you entered the relationship to begin with. Do they really know you? Are they taking the time to know you? Where does personal responsibility come into play?

The fact is drifting leads to distance. Distance leads to abscence. Abscence leads to the grass growing on the other side. What side of the lawn do you want to be on? I suggest you figure it out because the longer you drift the easier it will be when communication stops...

Think about it...
~feenix

Down but NOT Defeated...

2010-03-01T18:42:00.002-05:00

First let me start off with a warm greeting to all those that follow and missed me. This is for you...

Well as you can tell I have not been here for some time now and it has been quite hectic in my life.

I have been trying to prepare for the launch of company and the preperations for doing that are lengthy. It consists of edits, approvals, rewrites, more edits, more approvals, more rewrite; submissions, more submissions, waiting, designing, smiling, yelling, agression, being aggressive and just plain ole tired and worn out!!!

But it was all necessary for the first step in EthosU, LLC becomming a brand. There is nothing like competition and I experienced that first hand February 25, 2010 at Morehouse College. My business partner and I have the great idea, we even had the great presentation. But it all went to hell in a handbasket and it went there fast and easy. Let me explain...

We were all gased up and excited. The nerves were calm as we eyed the competition. We didn't count them out we just knew we had the best idea and presentation. WE STILL THINK SO! But we got beat with the pen so to speak. We rehearsed using the entire stage only to be told that we had to stay behind the podium. We were told we would have hand held mics only to find out that we would have one stationary mic that was 2-4 feet lower than each of our heights so try bending down to give a 10 minute presentation. Try being told at the very last minute, so last minute that you were on stage about to deliver your presentation when you are told do this differently. Needless to say with all the reworkings and distraction we fell apart and we didn't get a chance to recover.

With all that being said EthosU, LLC was dealt a mean blow. We may be down, be we are definitely NOT DEFEATED!!!

feenix...

What's been happening...

2010-01-26T19:09:00.002-05:00

Well I have been gone for a minute because I was not sure what to write and then I remembered why I started writing in the first place, these are just thoughts that are in my head and I am putting them on "paper"...Simple right?

I have been enjoying my life and I can honestly say that I am truly living now. Its funny how you don't know that you are living until you live...ha ha

Love is a beautiful thing you should try it, but promise me that you won't let it consume you.

On to what's been happening:

I've moved, been angry with my best friend, told my best friend that I was angry with him, been honest, and even shared some tears behind it. We have been friends since the 9th grade and that was MANY MANY MANY moons ago, so it is safe to say that we have shared alot! It hurt when I was unable to go to him and tell him things that only he could understand or because he was the ONLY person that I would tell. I almost lost a friend...

Ria has been absent for sometime now and I don't know how I feel about it! I mean of course she is a big balling money making manager for the federal whack ass government, has to beautiful kids that have personalitis only the joker could have created, a fly betty, and a recessionista...but does that equate NEGLECT of her big brother (by 8 days)????? Then I get a last minute invite to her Wii party and she knows that my life is a calendar and I need a little more time than that to swing thru... I wonder if she will allow me to bring my significant other???

The "S.O." has been a big part of my life. Its funny because 6 months ago we weren't even speaking and now we are well on our way to a great future. I commend them because many have tried but none have succeeded in 1)making me open up and share my inner most thoughts 2)sharing my life with other people 3) being in a realtionship. But guess what readers MY FAMILY LIKES THE "S.O." and I mean even my daddy! Now if you can get that man on your side you got it made like the 80's hip-hop classic. Cuz with my daddy...Either he likes you or he don't and it ain't no guessing! I LOVE YOU!

Be on the lookout cuz EthosU, LLC is on the way and when it launches it will be NO STOPPING us. I appreciate you Bro!!!!!!!!!!

There is so much more...but that's enough for now!

~feenix

Life...

2010-01-04T09:10:00.003-05:00

Is the thing where you learn, you grow! Well it has been that kind of journey for me for the past 365. I have had to deal with alot of lifes issues and I am not sure how much I handled correctly and how much I didn't...

With the loss and gain of people in my life I do truly understand the saying that people come for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Those who have made it thru, I tip my hat to you. Glad to have you back for another 365. Those who didn't make it thru, it was fun/good while it lasted but I was shown the true you and I had to make a decision. No hard feelings, K? And to those of you who are on your way out...What can I say... I just can't do it anymore. I am looking forward and I can only take into account what you have done recently and compare it to the past. Which is more foretelling...

Love has found my door, knocked, and I answered. Its an interesting emotion because once you accept it into your life, you view and feel things differently. I am sure it effects different people in different ways...But I am speaking from personal experiences. When getting to know the other better, you began to open up about you and your life prior to being with said person. What do you do with this information????? Thats a true test believe me...

I really don't know whats in store for the rest of my life, I just pray that I am around long enough to see, view, learn from, and enjoy it.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the many blessings that you have afforded me up until this point in my life, but most of all thank you for the blessing of life. You have kept me safe and healthy for the last 365 and I pray that you can do it again for another 365. Thank you for keeping safe, healthy, and out of harms way. In the MIGHTY name of Jesus, Amen!

p.s. Lord thank you for the Love...

My Resolution (whatever that is): Is to just be a better person. I think eveything else will fall into place.

~feenix
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Rundown...

2009-12-23T17:12:00.003-05:00

So I know that I have been missed and quite alot has happened in my life since my last realy post. Prior to my return post some time has passed and I felt that I was going through a transition in my life and it kept me away from my blog. But now I am back with a new sense of my life, a new look, new blog pic, and a better spirit. I WAS REBORN...

So here we go:

1) I explained in very black and educated terms to the white man that I am NOT stupid, will NOT be played as stupid, and you will NOT get me to do the things that you refuse to do. I am far too qualified and intelligent to be the guinea pig scape goat...
2) As a result I no long work for the white man
3) I had my first visit to Kentucky and I LOVED IT. The people, the atmosphere, even the strippers were kind and asked if it was okay to sit on your lap before they jumped on it.
4) I had my very first trip to Texas and I must say I wouldn't mind visiting again.
5) I had plenty of conversations with GOD
6) I tried my hand at being a lawyer, and ended up making the white man turn red in the courtroom...I may have a future in that after all.
7) I have become more open in communication
8) I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE...
9) I'm happy
10) Im more honest
11) I try to answer the question asked with the best of my ability
12) I am not feeling school anymore, therefore I am not putting forth my greatest effort
13) I am discussing wedding ideas
14) I love me
15) I am learning me
17) I am a great person
18) I have a new GREAT group of friends...they are like family. The kind I've always wanted.
19) I miss Sheria...I don't feel we are as close as we used to be :-(
20) I've learned that the people I thought were fake...REALLY ARE!
21) I have two new nieces
22) My adopted "kids" are a trip, but I love them
23) I love everything these days
24) Smiles are the happy wrinkles
25) Growth really does happen and it feels good when you can excercise it
26) I've gained weight
27) I'm back in the gym
28) I am having one of the best Christmas seasons I have had in a long time
29) They know how I feel
30) I smile when I look at them...

That is the last 2 months in a nut shell. The 'feenix' is back!

~feenix

From the heat of the fire...He returns!

2009-12-07T17:42:00.003-05:00

In ancient Egyptian mythology and in myths derived from it, the phoenix is a mythical sacred firebird. The phoenix is a male bird with beautiful gold and red plumage. At the end of its life-cycle the phoenix builds itself a nest of cinnamon twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises. The new phoenix embalms the ashes of the old phoenix in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in Heliopolis ("the city of the sun" in Greek), located in Egypt. The bird was also said to regenerate when hurt or wounded by a foe, thus being almost immortal and invincible - a symbol of fire and divinity.

Life brings many changes, challaenges, emotions, obstacles, people, and experiences. I have been through them all in 2009, but most happened recently. I SURVIVED and have a testimony...

Now that the transition has begun, be on the lookout

BECAUSE I AM BACK!

"Remember the spirit of the feenix is within" ~feenix

Worry Sets In...

2009-11-04T08:19:00.004-05:00

Good Morning Feenix Magazine Readers...

Today's topic is about worry, more specifically, personal worry.

Now I hate for people to communicate with me in a rushed tone that implies or speaks "emergency". Evermore, I despise when they come with this emergency tone and then refuse to tell you specifics or any details or try and act as if they don't know whats going on. Granted a small few really don't know whats going on, but that's rare.

Unfortunately the staff I currently work with love to do this. I don't get it, and it bothers me because it then becomes an internal battle and my mind begins to play tricks on me. Primarily because I have to come to a conclusion as to what the emergency may be.

First I enter panic mode: In this mode I began to rapidly playback (mentally) all of my actions of the recent past. Even if its not directly my fault. But this comes from the secrecy people display when they run to you with this nonsense.

Once several scenarios, possibilities, etc are reached, I enter strategy mode. How can I get myself out of these presumed emergency situations. Crazy right, but the mind is a complex piece!

Now you know why I despise it so...wrenching!

The latest "emergency" situation:

My director comes to me with this rushed tone and said (insert name) will be here tomorrow around (insert time) and I will try to be here, really try. So I'm like WTF?? So my mind instantly starts going and I can't be 100% sure but I think my director followed that up with "something happened," (insert name) will be going to all the sites... So I asked what happened with this confused tone and look. My director says "I don't know" and then disappears. As I began to process this I realize that I am unclear on a few things so I try to catch my director. When I tell you my director disappeared, I MEAN LITERALLY DISAPPEARED! Car gone and everything. So I am really in panic mode now. WTH????

So all night I try to play back the events of the day and wonder if its a set up and there really is no site wide "emergency" but just their way of blindsiding me. I came to the conclusion that I was being terminated, that I didn't do something right, someone has an issue with me etc etc etc...

Unecessary worry right? ABSOLUTELY!!!! But what else could I do?
I've prayed about it, thought about it, worried about it... But enough is enough!

Yet I still have this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach and in the back of my mind, I see this as doomsday. May Wednesday be good to me!!!

In closing...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

~feenix

Monday...

2009-11-02T11:09:00.004-05:00

Now normally I am soo not a Morning person and I definitely am not very fond of Mondays.

But I don't know, today I am just feeling good and feel like I can tackle anything! I don't know what has gotten into me but I am liking it.

It could be possibly that I had an awesome weekend. Let me be clear, nothing went as expected, but I enjoyed it none-the-less.

Explanation:
Friday I was to attend a b day party as arm candy for a past suitor... The party was highly "publicized" but was whack to def! Where the hell was the food? And the liquor selections, Boo! So we didn't stay very long and then went and had dinner. I got in my car and headed back to the home front.

Saturday I was supposed to find some storage space for my belongings since I am in the process of moving. I went to public storage and she told me 195/month. I said thank you for your time have a great day. WAY'FD. Then I was supposed to go to a football game, tailgate, after party etc. But because of that rain ti didn't happen. I don't do outside activities in the rain! So instead my family and I picked up some pizza (made by the Italians yumm) ransacked my movie collection and chilled out. Sidebar: my niece suckered me into being her chauffeur...that child! Went home and called it a night. Was tired...

Sunday finished homework and GOT IT IN...whew needed that. Slept like a baby!

Recap:
Got a new iPod - the new nano with the video camera
Got the iPhone - and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT
Had a ball!

~feenix

Serenity...

2009-10-30T08:15:00.008-04:00

Ok it is Friday morning, THANK GOD! And I am determined to not let anything push me over the edge. It has been that kind of week. So before I go on and detail my week, I will start with this...

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Ok it kind of started last Friday. When I got a call from a professor (Im in education)and she was inquiring about certain technologies available to her. (She started off with this "I'm white so you are going to allow me to talk to you any way I want and do what I want..." tone and I responded with the tone "Don't get it twisted, I'm "white" too and your demands DO NOT supercede mine!) Innocent enough I thought until I reminded her that a MANDATORY and NECESSARY piece of documentation was missing from her "file" which constitutes a violation in the contract. She gets all huffy and tells me why should she have to submit that information. For a second time I state that its REQUIRED! She goes on to say that I am not going to email it and I say that is your choice but it needs to be on file in my office prior to the start of your class. She responds with "well can I fax it?" I say "sure" and I provided her with the fax number. Upon ending the phone call, and because I believe in documentation, I shot her an email detailing our conversation, included fax, email, and contact information, and even pulled an excerpt from the policy that refers to the requested documentation. And if I told you what the document was...you would hit the floor in shock about why/how all this came about from requesting a freakin' syllabus!!!!!!

So Monday arrives and still no document. Fine! I shoot Professor Pain in my Ass, known from this point forward as P.P.I.M.A, an email going back to our Friday conversation and delivering the information that I said I would. She is going to tell me the document is on the internet so go retrieve it. I THINK NOT!! Policy is you submit it, not I go look for it. She calls hours later asking for my director's information. After I identified who the caller was, cuz I just wasn't going to give that up freely, I gave her the information. I had no problem...do what you do boo! Shortly thereafter, my outlook sound alert dings letting me know I have an e-mail. Now if you have ever used outlook then you know that if you are not in the email window then a box will pop up with an excerpt of the message. To my not so surprise it was P.P.I.M.A! And she CC'd my director talking about how I was unprofessional, and needed training on using the company computer infrastructure and how other people were able to go and retrieve it with no problems blah blah blah blah. So of course my director calls me with the "whats goin on tone" I explain to him the intracies of this flawed and delicate relationship. Now anyone that knows me knows that there are few things that set me off, I'm talking 0-60, in seconds. 1) spitting on me 2) telling lies on me 3) and fuckin' with my family...But I digress. The email that P.P.I.M.A sent was full of lies about how I didn't contact her and inform her of anything blah blah blah blah. This is where that good "paper trail" comes in. I forwarded everything I sent her to my director. Case closed or so I thought. When I say gump ass muthafukka...I MEAN A GUMP ASS MUTHAFUKKA. He would rather apologize to her and accomodate her rather than tell her that she was wrong for not following policy. But hey I could care less. Cuz once I handed the situation to him, I was done with it. And I told my director that I am not apologizing to her, him, or anyone for something that I did not do. And if he feels an apology will appease her then he needs to be the one to give it. Case Closed! (At least for Tuesday LOL) Here comes Wednesday...Class night. I go in and greet P.P.I.M.A as part of my job duties cuz trust if I had to do it on GP it would not have gotten done. I have NOTHING to say to people like that. Anyhoo, This is what apologizing to a Nazi will get you. She lied on my director too...LOL That's what you get homie!

So I sent her a very kind email yesterday, on purpose, and BCC'd my Director. It had all kinds of warm fuzzies included, and addressed the issue without an apology being given. You know she still responded with attitude, rudeness, and dismay. I'm convinced that she is trying to pull me into some battle that she think she will win. But since I know me and I know that when I am done there will be one man standing I didn't even want to go there. Because I can fix her ass, but at what consequence. There is more, but this is the meat and potatoes...

I really don't know if I should share this next part but after all I went thru this week with needy ass adults, ignorant adults, whiny adults, bullshitting adults, useless adults, and just ass hole adults...this was the comical highlight of it all.
DO PEOPLE REALLY STILL CALL AND ASK HOW YOU KNOW (INSERT NAME) AND WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I mean really, it is 2009 quickly approaching 2010 and if you have to call around and call numbers back to find out what your mate is doing, then IS IT REALLY WORTH IT. And newsflash they aren't your partner, mate, lover, girlfriend, or boyfriend if thats how it is going down. But the extra funny part was this...
Actual conversation with edits: Ringtone: How do you expect me to live alone with just me? Cause my world revolves around you its so hard for me to breath, I answer...
Me:"Hello"
caller: "yes can I speak to J
Me: Speaking
Caller: Yes how do you know (insert name)
Me: Stuck like no the fuck you didn't responds "I suggest you ask (insert name) how we know eachother.
Caller: ok imma call you right back
2mins pass...Ringtone: How do you expect me to live alone with just me? Cause my world revolves around its so hard for me to breath,
Me: Hello
Caller: Yes hold on (hits speaker phone)then says "yes (insert name) says its best to ask you how yall know eachother.
Me: (In my head I'm like LMAO you just got played by your own other half cuz it ain't no way in hell my mate is going to tell me some shit like that and I actually call the person back) Okay back to the conversation cuz I missed most of it with my personal thoughts.
Me: Are you done now?
Caller: Yes just stay away from (insert name)
Me: LOL laters!

First off how can you even embarrass yourself like that? I said it once, I will say it again. IF YOU HAVE TO CALL AROUND LOOKING FOR, TRACKING DOWN, OR INQUIRING ABOUT WHO YOUR MATES KNOW ECT...THEN THEY ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING MATE! THEY ARE NOT YOUR LOVER, PARTNER, BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, ECT...and the sooner you realize that, the better off you will be!

So glad its FRIDAY and this week will be behind me shortly! Then I can go spend some time with Bob M. and Mr. Bombay and his mate Lady Olive!!!! Oh and pick up my I-Phone

~feenix

He Cut His Hair....

2009-10-28T20:38:00.005-04:00

WTF!!!!

I so didn't see this comin'...check it out and share your thoughts in the comment section. Do you even know who this is?

Give you a clue...Jenson Atwood

~feenix

I am grateful...

2009-10-27T07:58:00.000-04:00

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

I am grateful for being able to talk to my parents on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful that Bambi decided to stay her ass in the forest yesterday...10/15/2009

I am grateful to laugh on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful to be expressive...10/16/2009

I am grateful for memories...10/21/2009

I am grateful for love...10/27/2009

Monday Morning Random Thoughts...

2009-10-26T08:45:00.003-04:00

Usually when I have a bunch of stuff in my head, with no cohesion, it becomes time for RANDOM THOUGHTS!

Adult ignorance irritates me

If I send you an email, professionally, READ IT!

Don't send me emails asking questions, that WERE ANSWERED IN THE EMAIL I ALREADY SENT!

Being demanding doesn't really work well with me. If you want me to help you, act like it!

Completed means having all parts or elements; lacking nothing; whole; entire; full...So don't submit a form with parts missing and then say you sent me a completed form cuz now I have to call you and cuss your dumb ass out!

Needy adults irritate me

White adults, who fail to realize that I am "White" also, that use that I'm white demanding voice irritates me...

I am just fucking irritated!

~feenix

I am grateful...

2009-10-21T08:13:00.002-04:00

27 Dresses...

2009-10-19T12:24:00.003-04:00

This just makes me want to be in the movie, scene is the bar after the rain. Love that movie!!!!

This song is classic and just gives you a taste of the kind of musically inclined gentle creature that I am...

~feenix

Heard 'Em All...

2009-10-19T12:16:00.003-04:00

Now I know I am not the only one that has heard it time and time and time again. But people fail to realize that Whitney and Deborah said it best..."Same Script, Different Cast" What that means is you are not the original gamer and the words you speak have no originality, so when I tell you I've seen this "movie" before TRUST ME I KNOW HOW IT ENDS. Be creative, make me say hmmmmmmmmmm. Dazzle me, stump me, make me think but most of all be genuine, you would be surprised at the results!!!

Oh and check out Amerie's video...
IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BE A GOTHIC UBER-SLUT!
~feenix

Heard Em All - Amerie

I am grateful...

2009-10-16T12:39:00.000-04:00

So emotional...

2009-10-16T08:40:00.003-04:00

I don't know if it is the weather...

I don't know if its my hormones...

Or if it is the deconstruction of the ice tomb I subconsciously built around my emotions...slowly melting away.

But today I am a walking ball of emotions.

I kinda raised my voice and got mad at my mom last night because I felt like she was defending my sister in the argument we had. I feel like I am expected to always be the good guy and to turn the other cheek. (Last I checked I wasn't Linda Blair and this ain't the exorcism so I am running out of cheeks)

But I know when something is really bothering me because I can't stop thinking about it and I have to address it in order to feel better. So in writing the post for my sister this morning I began to cry...and kept crying. These were silent tears but I guess I am just hurt. Are these bottled emotions that I can't explain?

As the rain outside cools and cleanses the earth, the tears inside, flowing out, are cleansing my soul...

Check out the song that was playing while writing this post..Never heard of it, it just showed up in the rotation! Symbolism...

I'm sorry mother...
~feenix

How do you apologize...

2009-10-16T08:21:00.002-04:00

The definition itself implies guilt and admission of fault...
For that I believe is what makes it hard for me to apologize because I don't always feel I am at fault or guilty. Maybe its about interpretation!

This particular subject is important on this rainy Friday because My makidada and I had a heated discussion yesterday that resulted in comments and statements being made that whether true or not were VERY MUCH HURTFUL! At the time I felt I was right in making them and I still believe that they are true but MAYBE THAT WASN'T MY PLACE or MAYBE I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BE HURTFUL. Whatever the reason that is my sister and I APOLOGIZE...

For whatever the reason we had the disagreement you are still my MAKIDADA and I will always love you and try to make your life better in anyway that I can!

Can you do me one favor? Please stop putting your family down and embrace the good things about them. They will ALWAYS be there for you when no one else will!

Love you,
Baby Brother...

I am grateful...

2009-10-15T08:40:00.003-04:00

I'm grateful for...
This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that must be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

I am grateful for my family...10/08/2009

I am grateful for another day...10/13/2009

I am grateful for having NO damage when that deer jumped in front of my car this morning and my fender taggin' that ass...10/14/2009

I am grateful for being able to talk to my parents on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I am grateful that bambi decided to stay her ass in the forest yesterday...10/15/2009

I am grateful to laugh on a daily basis...10/15/2009

I'm grateful for...

2009-10-14T08:44:00.004-04:00

I have to find a new place to live...

2009-10-13T14:22:00.008-04:00

So I have to find another place to call home for a while and below are photos of the property I am really interested in...

My current bathroom is bigger than this but OH WELL!
And I don't know how I feel about the toilet being right by the door. Privacy please...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ummmmm...

2009-10-13T11:44:00.002-04:00

FEVER!

Don't Know Where To Begin...

2009-10-13T10:28:00.002-04:00

It's been a couple of days, more like 11 days, since I have really wrote about something going on in my life or my personal thoughts. And even though I have had some good times and laughs and experiences over those 11 days I really don't have anything to write about. Or at least I don't know what to write about.

I have been reading the blogs of some of my other blog buddies and I have just lived vicariously through them and their recent experiences. As open and candid as some of them are, it makes you question your own behavior and analyze ways in which you would have handled the same situation.

You question your cowardice and your courage!

Thank you Blogging community...Each day our strength grows!

~feenix

Shout out to Fuzzy...holla at me I need to talk to you about something...

I'm grateful for...

2009-10-13T10:26:00.002-04:00

I'm grateful for...

2009-10-08T10:46:00.001-04:00

I'm grateful for...

2009-10-07T13:57:00.003-04:00

This will be a daily running of the things that I am grateful for. I got this idea by watching Frankie and Neffe, again shock and awe, and I must say that for all the things that are fundamentally wrong with this show there are some touching moments and moments that but be internalized...

I am grateful for my health...10/07/2009

Things I'm All About Right Now...

2009-10-07T12:01:00.003-04:00

Empire State of Mind...Is My Muthafukkin' Jam

Can you make these in a size 13 driving loafer?

Big Sister, Big Sister...Theres NO ONE like my Big Sister!

2009-10-02T15:08:00.004-04:00

My Big Sis is amazing in every way and I love her so very much. She always inspires me and i am so very proud and honored to call her my sister...

-She is the 2nd in command after our parents and she is like the cool sister mother who always tries to do right and make us do right but Makidada and I be like whatevs! LOL (Cuz we be dancin' and emphasizn')

My dear Big Sis, you are the greatest there is, And amazing in every way.
I greatly admire and look up to you, Each and every day.

-You strive and you've struggled but you always push forward. I wish sometimes that I had the boots you walk in because you make it...Time and Time again YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT. Sometimes they say being the baby is best but I don't know because as the baby everything is done for you and it takes YEARS for you to do it on your own. But you had to because you are the oldest and the book wasn't written for you like it is for me.

You are always showing how much you care, From your heart that is filled with love.
You are a our personal Angel, Sent from the heavens above.

-Many people say you have a big heart. But you can't help it thats how you were created. You just feel the need to help everyone, even those who clearly don't deserve it. Because of that there is a special place for you in my version of heaven!

Big Sis you are always in my heart & thoughts, And I am always sending you a hug and kiss. You could never be replaced by another...

Always and Forever, your little brother!

DEAD and on the floor...

2009-10-02T09:12:00.001-04:00

of laughter.... This is why black folks (some) should not be allowed to purchase technology!

Coonary!!!!!!!!!!!!

~feenix

Today's Post...

2009-09-30T12:10:00.004-04:00

Is sad and upsetting and somewhat of a tear jerker...

This is our community...I'm ashamed of it!

Derrion Albert, 16-Victim

Suspect 1 & 2

Suspect 3

The FATAL Blow...

Albert being struck again

Unknown participants

No-one had the will to stop him

Mother of suspect 3 - "Ava Johnson, mother of Eugene Riley, who has been charged with beating to death 16-year-old Derrion Albert on Sept. 24, talks to the media as she holds her son photo at Fenger High School in Chicago, Sept. 28, 2009. Johnson said her son is innocent."
Indescribable sadness...

A mother's PAIN...

A child loses her cousin

A DAMN GOOD QUESTION !!!!

R.I.P. Derrion Albert...we don't know you, but we know your story!

~feenix

Sick of it...Random Thoughts

2009-09-29T08:51:00.004-04:00

I'm sick of niggas being the new bitches...

I'm sick of whiny ass men...

I'm sick of needy ass adults...

I'm sick of embarrassing black people...

I'm sick of black who don't know they are embarrassing...

I'm sick of uneducated people (primarily black)...

I'm sick of racism...

I'm sick of people acting as if they don't know racism still exists...

I'm sick of rude and disrespectful ass black children...

I'm sick of "parents" allowing their kids to be disrespectful and RUDE...

I'm sick of the school system...

I'm sick of the prejudice in the workplace...

I am just sick...

~feenix

P.S. RESPONSES FROM FRIENDS BELOW:

I'm sick of being in love ALONE...

A Lil' Monday Morning Humor...

2009-09-28T11:58:00.002-04:00

How I learned to mind my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting "13....13....13!"

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting "14....14....14..."

~feenix

I Tried To Give It To The Lord...

2009-09-28T08:19:00.002-04:00

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.
Amen

My health...I tried to give it to the Lord
MY CURRENT JOB SITUATION...I TRIED TO GIVE IT TO THE LORD
My safety...I tried to give it to the Lord
My finance...I tried to give it to the Lord
My prayers...I tried to give it to the Lord

Now that I have given it all away...LET's SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!

~feenix

Epiphany...

2009-09-24T11:01:00.004-04:00

So I didn't know what to write about today, and ironically it came while watching Frankie and Neffe. (See below post)

I am all for church and religion (whichever and whomever you believe in; personally I think you should have some knowledge of all religions)but what I am not a fan of is pastors that use the pulpit for judging. (sidebar: check the book 'pimps in the pulpit')
We, meaning I, believe that the church is a place of refuge where you can escape from the trials and tribulations of life and enter a place of peace; freedom from stares, judgment, and condemnation.

Pointing fingers, making snide slick remarks, and blatantly calling people out are not actions that are indicative of a person "called upon" to do good for the Lord.

Of course the Bible, written by Man, is open to interpretation. So does that mean you get to pick and choose which parts to interpret? I.E. Homosexuality is a sin...So is fornication and passing judgment. Last I checked no "1" sin is greater than the other. Or my personal favorite, "the bible says you MUST attend church..." No actually the Bible says you are to fellowship with others that believe and follow the word as you do. SO IF I CALL A GROUP OF PEOPLE OVER TO MY HOUSE AND WE FELLOWSHIP, READ, AND FOLLOW THE WORD...THAT IS CHURCH! But I digress...

Back to Frankie and Neffe. They attended a church close to Neffe's home in ATL, and the pastor makes a comment about not bringing Hollywood to church. Immediately, I could see why they had that sour look. It was an insult. Then the pastor went on to say, I would appreciate it if ya'll would stop all that moving around...and then the "congregation" can be heard shouting AMENs! WTF????

Being envious is a sin just as well as the other ones that are written and unspoken!

Now I was not raised completely in the church, but I don't feel you have to be to understand what church is about and the RIGHT and wrong that goes on in the "house", because some shouldn't dare call it the House of the Lord.

"Get your house in order..."

~feenix

"He woke meeeeee up this morning, I was clothed in my right mind. He did not, let me sleep too late. He woke me up on Time!"

Speaks to your heart, but eases your mind...

2009-09-23T07:55:00.004-04:00

As you can see, at the bottom it says send to...
Well I am not a fan of chain letters as many know, so I choose to post it here where an infinite number of people can be put at ease. We all have thought it and we all have experienced it!

~feenix

Don't Forget The Hot Sauce Chulo...

2009-09-21T14:51:00.007-04:00

LMAO! This is my favorite episode of South Park...

Now if you have ever watched this show then you know that they "go" on every race, culture, ethnic group, sexual orientation and career field...so there really is no room for being offended...

Check it out and I hope you laugh the same way I do every time I watch it

Click Jenifer Lopez's Name below to be taken to the episode!

Jenifer Lopez
"You can suck my culo chica..." LMAO

~feenix

Makidada...

2009-09-21T10:27:00.009-04:00

An Indisputable Bond...

Although the words to the game where simple the symbolic meaning was not. In the beginning of the movie we see the sisters running through a field of purple flowers. They proceed to play the game and recite the lyrics, “Me and you, us never part. Makidada. Me and you, us have one heart. Makidada. Ain’t no ocean, ain’t no sea. Makidada. Keep my sister away from me.” These words provide us with a look into the future of the girls. The words represented a bond that would play out all the way through the movie. A bond that kept them together no matter the circumstance.
Before
They promised each other that they would never be apart. They promised each other that no ocean or sea would keep them away from one another. They promised each other that they would always share the same heart. These women went through more then most of us can imagine in their lives and yet, they kept the promises that were made when they were still young girls. They kept the promises made by that childish game. The bond that they shared never broke. “You and me, us never part”
After

Now I chose to make this my Monday morning topic because my sister is my Makidada. We've been there and we've done that, but in the end we always know that there will never be another like the other. She is programmed in my phone as Sista Ma~ki~dada and that is how we greet eachother. It started as a joke because that is her all time favorite movie. But like the movie, we realized that the meaning was so much more. This is her g-chat status message "just cannot live without my makidada I love you so much, dearly"... That makes me all warm inside!

Her Me

Guess what, I love you dearly as well Makidada.. "ain't no ocean, ain't no sea..."

~feenix

Screw Man Down...It's "Race" Down...A Cultural Embarassment!

2009-09-17T15:51:00.006-04:00

Case in point...

I mean really? Is this it?

Why can't I turn it off, when I KNOW I SHOULD!
Is this what it feels like to be addicted?

Frankie and Neffe

Click the "Frankie and Neffe" Link!

Awaken Please...

2009-09-17T15:21:00.004-04:00

So will black people finally realize that we are NOT equals and we have not arrived as so many seem to think. Yes you have better jobs, but you don't make as much as the other guy with the same job title and less education/experience.

Yes you have a Mercedes Benz but it will NEVER be the same model.

Yes you can move into the fancy neighborhood and buy the big house, but your "other" neighbors really don't want you there!

You were so excited to finally have a black president and they are doing everything they can to tarnish, disrupt, vote against, and criticize the very thing that he was voted in to do...

Now what kills me is that the White House press staff is saying that the President doesn't believe this latest brash of outbursts has anything to do with race...

What do you think?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Sunday September 13, 2009...The Final Day!

2009-09-15T10:22:00.005-04:00

So when I wake up on Sunday, I am like Damn time to get up already? I had a birthday brunch planned and I had to get ready. Of course I pushed it just a little and left myself just enough time to shower and hit the road! Of course, my sister and dad wanted some cake and WOULD NOT cut it...They insisted that I do it! Cuz I am particular but as I get older somethings just aren't that important and how you cut a cake is one of them. But if you seen the picture below you can understand why they would feel that way. So when I am done cutting what seemed like 1,000 pieces of cake, I could finally get finished getting ready!

Of course I was late!!!!

But luckily the people "sponsoring" the event were proactive and told me one time, when it was actually later. Yayyyy for thinking ahead!

Brunch was divine and I had a ball. It just so happens that the "couple" next to our table was celebrating a birthday as well. It was the guys birthday and his female friend had taken him to brunch! He, the other birthday guy, is 11 years older than I and I guessed 10 years and we all shared laughs and conversation. It was a helluva day and I REALLY REALLY REALLY ENJOYED. And as if I didn't have enough liquor in my system, the brunch came with unlimited Mimosa and Desi, our fantastic waitress, made sure we got unlimited. we got there at 1:30 and from 1:30 to 3:30 we had been drinking...LOL In the voice of Wendy Williams "How you doin'?" LMAO

I went back to the "white house" and took a nap and played with the REAL QUEEN, daughter of Queen Makidada Late, and then prepared to make my exit home. I was supposed to go to the movies but I didn't have it in me!

By this time I just wanted to shower and lay in my bed. Guess you can say:

Happy Birthday To Me...
~feenix

DIAMOND BOY's BIG DAY...Part 3

2009-09-15T10:00:00.006-04:00

So it is Saturday morning and I think I went to sleep 4 hours ago. Remember I have a slight case of amnesia and memory lapse. So I go to get out of my bed and my head said "NO! lay back down...slowly" I oblige and lay there thinking how am I going to get rid of this feeling cuz I have so much shit to do today! I get up and pop 2 Excedrin cuz I had a headache that big! (remember the old Excedrin commercials?)and drank some ICE ICE ICE COLD water and took a shot of the "blue stuff" and laid back down. I dozed for a second and when I woke up felt 10 times better. That is one hell of a hangover remedy I created (patent pending niggas) and it has worked time and time again!

I finally get up and look at my place in disarray and decide "it's not going to clean itself..." and I get started. When I am done its time for my shower cuz I have to get moving. We agreed on 8:00am for a start time, I didn't leave my house until well after 1:30pm. That damn "blue stuff"...but its amazing what a hot shower can do! I was ready for the world again! I went to get my sister and fly niece Jazz and we hit the highway. Dad had to get more liquor, mom had to run to the store, we had to get the cake and other supplies and food for the party. LONG DAY AHEAD! We run around and get EVERYTHING we need in one location. Run home pick up clothes and head to the "WHITE HOUSE" this is where the event takes place! We set up and I shower and change. Can't be "TARDY FOR THE PARTY" and we wait for our fashionably late guest to arrive. You have got to love BLACK PEOPLE. Because no one wants to be first to the party, they indirectly give you more time to set up and prepare. And then they all show at once...LMAO, that never ceases to amaze me.

I didn't drink as much and I ate more this time around. But as you know the theme was all about diamonds so we found the diamond encrusted shot glass that I wore around my neck, and every time someone said happy birthday I had to take a shot!

The cake can be seen:

It was elevated on a cake stand and surrounded by 36 vanilla cupcakes!

Food was good, fun was had, and I thoroughly enjoyed this party as well. That one ended around 4am as well! Thanks to all that attended and all that supported. You will be okay with me, at least for another 365!!!!

~feenix

Chick-fil-A Musta Lost Dey Got Damn Minds!!!!! 9/11/09

2009-09-15T09:42:00.005-04:00

Operator Keith Singletary

Address
9121 Alaking Ct
C H, M #####
(3) 324-9515

So let me tell you why I decided to blast one of my favorite restaurants. Now I am a die hard fan of chick-fil-A because they have the bomb fresh breast chicken sandwiches among other things. So for my intimate cocktail party for my birthday I figured they could provide the food.

So being proactive I researched and placed the order on Tuesday September 8, 2009. After running around Friday, early evening, we got to chick-fil-a 15 minutes early. Pick up time was 7:00pm. Now on the way I had been calling and calling and no one answered. We arrive and I seek out the manager to retrieve my order. He goes "...what order..." I instantly hit pissed off! And I am thinking here go some ole Koon shit... So I explain the situation and he says let me go check on it. Fine!
He comes out and says that he doesn't have an order for me so luckily I bought my order with me and the person that took the order. He takes it to the back and I assume gets his staff started on it. Oh now I have to wait for you to put together and entire order that feeds 30+ people? Koon are you crazy? In the midst, he rings up the order that totals $186.56 and I say I have two issues before I render payment, do you want to discuss them here or would you like to step to the side?

Now if you've been to chick-fil-a on a Friday then you know it can be crowded. So I repeat myself because he is looking confused! And I say again, do you want to discuss them here or would you like to step to the side? The customers turn and look at me and then back at him with the expression "what you gonna do, cuz I don't think he is playing..." so the manager says lets step to the side.

Issue #1 you want me to pay for food I haven't seen?
Issue #2 You want me to pay full price for your fuck up!

At this point I am beyond pissed and 5 miles past pisstivity (word?)Now remember I am with 2 of my sisters and we are all time bombs waiting to explode. One is calmer than all, then its me, and the last one is a storm that once gets started you gonna have to ride the wave until its over.

Fast forward to the end, we got our food, some cheesecake (which is actually pretty good) and some extra food, after I had to show part of my natural black ass because you have people in managerial positions who don't know shit about business and customer service. Fuck that...I think I am going to lead a protest of Chick-Fil_A at Steeplechase!

Got me WAY'FD

~feenix

Friday September 11, 2009...It's MUTHFUKKIN Official! Day 2

2009-09-15T09:13:00.005-04:00

Go Go Go GO SHAWTY IT'S YA BIRTHDAY, WE GON' PARTY LIKE ITS YA BIRTHDAY!

It's my muthafukkin day and I didn't do a damn thing that I didn't want too! Ya HEARD!

So I drag myself outta bed kicking and screaming cuz I knew I should have taken off work because after fukkin around with Kels, I needed a mental health day. But I learned a long time ago that you don't take your birthday off because you won't receive the cake and gifts from your co-workers that they surprise you with. You take the day after your birthday off!!!!!

So again I am at my desk making calls and lining up schedules because once the clock strikes 4:00pm it will be CRUNCH TIME! I have to zip down the highway, scoop my sisters, and then begin the errands for the night. Errands include, grocery store, dollar store, liquor store, party store, CHIK-FIL-A (which will have its own blog)and CLEANING MY HOUSE! So much to do so little time because party #1 is scheduled to start at 8:30pm. So I scoop my sisters and we run to the shopping strip close to where they reside and one of my sisters suggest that we split up and knock out as much as we can. Good Idea Sis! I needed to run across the street to get something blue to wear (since that was part of the theme one item of clothing/accessory must be BLUE!) and I decided that I would get a white T-shirt and wear a pair of blue chucks that I already own. But when I walked into the store I seen the ULTIMATE BLUE accessory in a pair of NIKES. Now everyone knows that I am a shoe and sneaker freak so what would make this episode any different. They were a pair of just released Nike Blazers with Scuba Blue Suede and Royal Blue sole and checker patterns with a white Nike sign...Needless to say I had my something Blue and a Birthday gift to myself!!!!

I fast forward to finally getting home and deciding how we are going to tackle my home. My sisters go to work and I must say I am quite happy with the finished product. My living room has much more space because they brought my vision to life. What do people do without sisters? UGH! I would hate to think....

Now I am dressed, fresh like a million bucks threw on my vanilla powder and all blue chucks (aka nike blazers LOL) and was not going to be "Tardy for the Party"...

By this time my parents arrived and when they got in my mom had a little snack and then she opened up the bar! And when I say the drinks started flowing and we started partying that would be an understatement...

The themed drink for the night was BLUE MOTORCYCLES... and when I was done I rode off into the sunset of amnesia and memory lapses LOL But whats more funny is that when I looked behind me I realized I wasn't riding alone LMAO!

Around 4am after the cops came and everybody was drunk as a skunk we decided to call it a night. And oh what a night it was. Somewhere in between my cup being refilled and me father and I performing our own rendition of "Didn't I Blow Your Mind" by the Delfonics I earned a couple of Dollars stripping!

This is how my counter looked:

Shout out to the Crew:
BEE
Jarv
Kirb
Q
Black Cherry - The Photographer
Mont - The Entertainment
Diva - The Bartender from the M***
Pops - The DJ
Queen Makidada Late - The Boss!
Keesh
Rob

The people mentioned above made my night VERY SPECIAL, and for that I will always be fond of you!

Love,
~feenix

Thursday September 10, 2009...The Beginning!

2009-09-15T08:55:00.003-04:00

So it is the day before I was officially introduce to this crazy world as APHJ...

I am at my desk putting together the final touches on my Birthday Bash Celebration weekend, cuz you know without a plan SHITE will fall apart. And even with a plan SHITE don't go right but you can adjust better when you have a clear picture of what you want to do and what needs to be done. BUT I DIGRESS... Back to my desk and I am talking to MY VERY GOOD FRIEND Kels, who is doing her thang in NY/NJ, on _____chat and she out of the blue says "...hey how about Happy Hour..." so I'm like wait a minute, "Are you in town..." and she was like yes just for the day. I felt so special, because who wouldn't have thought that she came to spread some birthday cheer. Yes she handled some other business while in town, but Happy Hour was on her in honor of my earthday!

GO GO GO GO SHAWTY ITS YA BIRTHDAY, WE GON' PARTY LIKE ITS YA BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

So the plan is to meet up at Jordan's 8 a nice little fusion spot that is quaint yet very effective if you want ambiance, atmosphere, chicness, sprinkled with a dash of bourgeoisie then THIS IS DEFINITELY THE SPOT!

We sat on the rooftop deck and had lemon drop martini's until we couldn't lemon drop no-more! Ate sushi (sidebar: Have you noticed the "new blacks" where sushi is like a staple, whereas not too long ago you couldn't get black people to even think about trying sushi...see what "arrival" will result in?)had fillet Mignon sliders and crab cakes...YOU HAVE GOT TO LOVE KELS...oh it gets done right!!!

Will always be very fond of her...In another life she would be my wife, but for now I will accept her as a VERY DEAR FRIEND!

~feenix

Can I Rest Now...?

2009-09-14T08:15:00.002-04:00

Dear Faithful Readers,

Please be patient with me. I just had my birthday celebration. And I have drunk so much liquor in the last 96 hours that you can probably light a fire with my spit. So let me rest and pull it together and I will bring you plenty of stories and entertainment the way only feenix can...

"May the spirit of the feenix be within!"
~feenix

8 Days and Counting...

2009-09-04T10:39:00.002-04:00

So I am getting excited and come to find out so is everyone else! I mean my family throws a party and everyone that attends has a wonderful time. I mean I love my family to death and I am fortunate to be close enough to my parents to be able to party with them and have a good time! They invite their friends and I invite mine and we all party together. So we have 8 days until the big day and 9 until the Ultimate Virgo Birthday Bash where DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER...

So to all my family and extended family(my new term for close friends)I look forward to a wonderful day and time. There will be plenty of good food and PLENTY OF LIQUOR so bring your sleeping bags because the #1 Rule is if you are too drunk to drive you have to stay! Look at it as one big sleepover! LOL

With much Love...

~feenix

Tell Me What You Think....Of Whitney's New Album

2009-09-02T14:18:00.006-04:00

You can listen to the entire album here...
http://www.bet.com/music/newreleases/470028

So I've Picked Out My Birthday Cake...

2009-09-02T09:31:00.002-04:00

And I must say it is quite the statement. It was exactly the kind of cake I wanted so I am thankful to my sister for suggesting the place, Very thankful for my mother because she was willing to drive there and pay for it, and thankful that my family cares enough to ACTIVELY participate in the planning, organization, and joining in the festivities.

We(my family) love a good party! And we like to share the joy. How many of my loyal readers can say that they party with, AND ENJOY, partying with their parents!!!

So the countdown begins 9 days till the Actual Day and Pre-party and 10 days till the VIRGO Showdown!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

~feenix

When Do You Take Them Seriously...

2009-09-01T13:15:00.002-04:00

Ok so I have been dealing with the not so sane...

So recently they have said things like "I can't live without you..."; "If I can't have you no-one can..."; "I have had thoughts of doing things..."

So I'm like WTF????

Now by no means am I a punk or scared but statements like this have to be taken seriously. Wouldn't you agree? I'm a firm believer that behind every joke is TRUTH!
Now no matter how INDIRECT they were...Shouldn't these still be viewed as threats?

Never have I been one to ignore the obvious (at least not for long periods of time) so I have to keep my eyes open and be very observant and try to place myself in the best possible position.

Cutting them off cold turkey may push them over the edge. So I guess this is one of those times where you have to keep the dangerous close to you..if only to watch their every move...

No Crazies Allowed!
~feenix

Better Off As Friends...

2009-09-01T13:11:00.002-04:00

Sometimes you have to know when positions and relationships change...

You need to refocus and evaluate the position people play...

Somtimes lovers are lovers for a moment...

When does their position change?

Sometimes you have to listen to your gut...

And stop listening to your heart..

Sometimes you know the right thing to do...

But why is it so hard to?

When the happiness fades and the relationship feels like a task...

Then this might be the confirmation that you need.

Everybody can't be everything to you...

And the love that you feel for them doesn't have to be thrown away.

But the position that they currently hold may have to end

And sometimes you are just better off as friend!

~feenix

My Daddy Sent This To Me...

2009-09-01T08:19:00.000-04:00

Does it speak to your heart?

STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT .
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND ,

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE . "

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. ;

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE M UST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
C ARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON,

AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM,

A DAY
TO LOVE THEM,

BUT THEN ,

AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.

Porcelain Doll...

2009-08-27T11:01:00.003-04:00

Here's the thing
I appreciate all the love
The constant catering kisses and hugs
But lately I'm wondering what you do it for
If the reason you act all over sweet is cause you want to keep me on a leash.
I have no choice but to show you the door.

If you want to cradle me like a little child
And lock me down
I'm not your possession
I'm a full grown man I am not your porcelain doll

Here's the thing you wanna put me in fancy clothes
And take me everywhere you go
And show me off to all your fancy friends...
Well here's the thing
I really don't mind the clothes
I love a nice suit with some square toes
But a trophy I'm not, So baby think again...

(Hey) and Here's the thing
You always wanna hold my hand
And say things to me like I'm the man So let me do what a man's suppose to do
Well here's the thing you can be the man all the while
Understanding I am not a child
You're a man for sure, but baby I'm grown too...
Hey Hey

If you want to cradle me like a little child
And lock me down
I'm not your possession
I'm a full grown man I am not your porcelain doll
If you want to cradle me like a little girl
And lock me down
I'm not your possession
I'm a full grown man I am not your porcelain doll

[Hook:]
Said you gotta respect me totally
Otherwise I'm goin up and leave
And baby I know you don't want me to do that.
Say you gotta respect me totally, so when I say back up off of me
Just kiss my cheek and politely move back...

If you want to cradle me like a little child
And lock me down
I'm not your possession
I'm a full grown man I am not your porcelain doll

I'm a full grown man I am not your porcelain doll
One more time
I'm a full grown man I am not your porcelain doll

How Do I Feel Today...

2009-08-27T09:10:00.003-04:00

Like a Drone, moving along subconsciously because I know the routine.
Without emotion, robotic in every way; from tone of voice to rehearsed movements
Blah because emotion escapes me.
Like nothing excites me.
Like my bed is calling; the darkness, the warmth, the solitude.
Like why did I wake up this morning?
Like everything will annoy me.
Again without emotion...

So I will sit here and drink my Herbal Green Tea (a harmonious blend with lemongrass & spearmint) my dear dear friend the power of ZEN...

~feenix

So I Ran Across This....

2009-08-26T08:54:00.004-04:00

The following post is what someone else wrote on their blog and I found it by accident. Read it and let me know at what points your eyes widen, your mouth drops, and you began to have other thoughts...

"I stood on my front steps last evening, talking to my neighbor, a woman as ridiculously vigilant regarding the park as I am.

You see, there’s a public park across the street from our properties, a lovely green spot with big trees. There’s soccer and baseball in the summer, hockey in the winter, large intra-mural colored-tee-shirt-wearing competitions between teenagers of different churches (“Current standings: Lamb of God has walloped Christ Our Lord at the three-legged race; House of Mercy has trounced Abundant Life in punt/pass/throw! Up next: The Church of the Nazarene against 34th Street Southern Baptist. You have two minutes to the starting gun! Two minutes!”)

Screaming laughing kids, the litter, the bull-horned announcements, the cars.

The cars.

Sometimes the cars pull up, cut their engines, make phone calls, wait for other cars. Thug-Life tattooed men move things from one trunk to another and then speed away.

And there I am, on my second-floor porch, watching, trying to get a license plate number. Difficult to do, but the binoculars I got for my birthday help.

No one ever looks up.

And those aren’t hotdish recipes they’re trading.

I call every time, but the cops haven’t made it in time to catch them yet.

The cars – who can describe them? That’s the problem when you can’t get the plate number.

“Ummm. It was a white car. It had four doors and tinted windows. I’m pretty sure it had tires. And there was chrome. Lots of chrome. Oh, and I believe “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle” was on the DVD player in the back, but I might be wrong about that.”

Have you seen that car?

When did I stop knowing things about cars? I like to think it was when, at least in my eyes, they stopped being distinctive and interesting; but it could actually be about the time I didn’t have to know anything any more, aka after me and the Lug Nut broke up.

I think I became willfully ignorant after that, just because I could.

Ha! Take that, ex-boyfriend! I refuse to remember what you taught me!

That’ll teach him to, uh, teach.

Anyway, what I know about cars would fill a thimble, and get your thimble ready because here it is: You absolutely can flush your own radiator by following the directions on a package; if you’ve just changed your oil and yet nothing registers on the dipstick you might want to check if you put the plug back in; no matter what anyone tells you, your Van Allen Belt is not loose; and there’s not been a single recorded instance of someone being dangerously low on blinker fluid.

And when you absolutely can’t tell a Honda Accord from a Honda Civic, you keep your camera at hand.

Bring on the arms traders. "

~feenix

Larry is recovering in room 232 at the hospital

2009-08-25T10:03:00.002-04:00

Ok, you are asking who in the HELL is "Larry!!" Larry gets home late one night and Linda, his wife asks, "Where in the HELL have you been?" Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!" "A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly!! "What the HELL were you thinking?" she asked, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?" Larry said "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!" Larry is recovering in room 232 at the hospital.

This is the kind of SHITE people send to my email...DO SOME WORK PEOPLE!!!!!!
LOL, thats why I can't get none done, cuz yall sending this!!! SMH SMH

~feenix

Utter Confusion...

2009-08-25T09:12:00.002-04:00

I don't know if I am coming or going...
To describe me as a ball of emotions, would be putting it lightly.

Being without control is new to me, and I haven't determined if I like this feeling
Why does life have to be so hard?

Why do we find ourselves in situations that for whatever reason we just can't get out of or have the strength to leave alone.

Why are choices so complicated, when everything seems to be so easy.
Is it that hard to just go with the flow?

Is laughter the ultimate mask of deception? Do we laugh even when its not remotely funny? If laughter is indeed the best medicine, then what is it when it turns to tears?

The human is said to be complex, but my argument is that the human is just the drone controlled by the complexity of the mind...

The mind fosters emotion..Emotion is UNCONTROLLABLE. Emotion is RAW, Emotion is STRONG, Emotion is DETERMINED, Emotion just IS!

~feenix

Male Hygiene...

2009-08-20T11:45:00.000-04:00

Hygiene is a universal term used to sum up practices of cleanliness. So men please don't be afraid to have VERY GOOD HYGIENE. It doesn't make you any less of a man and no one will think any less of you, however we will think negatively of you if you fail to complete the practices of cleanliness!

This brings me to today's posting...

So I go in the bathroom to, er, handle business and as I approach the urinal I looked down. Why? I have no idea, maybe it was because I don't like bathroom conversation and I didn't want the guy in there to think that it was okay to talk to me...but I digress.

And when I look down, I see Pubes!!!!! And not just any ordinary short and curly's, but this one and the other were quite long. Immediately several things went thru my head...why are they so long, ewwwww, maybe they aren't pubes at all, but then who would have their head that CLOSE to the urinal, and the list goes on. So I finally settled on, maybe their pubic hair is just extremely long...WTH???? SMH SMH SMH

Men please do yourself a favor. If you look down and realize that you can braid your pubic hair, or when you do the "man check" and your fingers get caught then odds are it is DEFINITELY TIME TO TRIM AND SHAPE!

Please don't make me out on an A.P.B. on you and carry your nasty yeti ass off to EMBARRASSMENT JAIL!!!!

~feenix

Bulletproof Soul...

2009-08-19T08:56:00.000-04:00

I know the end before
The story's been told
It's not that complicated
But you're gonna need a bullet proof soul

You were trigger happy baby
You never warned me let me free
It's not that complicated
But you're going to need a bullet proof soul
Think you got it but you got all the trouble you need
I came in like a lamb
But I intend to leave like a lion

It hit me like a slow bullet
It hit me like a slow bullet

~feenix

Me Time...

2009-08-19T08:18:00.000-04:00

All things being equal, I always put you first
You know that I've been down for you for better and for worst
All things being equal, I've been more than cool
So it seems only natural to expect the same from you
Now I ain't trying to start nothing, I like things drama free
But there won't be nothing to stop if you keep sweatin' me
Sometimes I just need my space, no different than you
So if I don't care that you do, why can't you deal with it?

I need some me time, Not some you and some I
Just some me time
I need some HE time, Just some free time
You ain't got to worry, There ain't nothing going on
I need some me time, That's all, That's all...

All things being equal, your not the only one
If I wanted to roll like that, I could have anyone I want
All things being equal, I've got a right to choose
The only thing you need to know, is my choice is always you
Now, I'm not trying to flip on you or make a mess of things
But if I put my trust in you, then you should do the same
I'm not going anyplace, I'm not going anywhere
So why you gotta be actin' all scared...

I need some me time, Not some you and some I
Just some me time
I need some HE time, Just some free time
You ain't got to worry, There ain't nothing going on
I need some me time, That's all, That's all...

I'm not deserving of your doubt and lack of trust for me,
It's disturbing you would think that low of me
I've told you anything and everything that's goin' on..

I JUST NEEDED SOME ME TIME...

In relationships the parties involved fail to realize that sometimes your partner needs that moment of clarity to just deal with their life and the thoughts going on in their head. And as their partner you should understand that. But often times we don't and it leads to a dissolution of a relationship... I know from first hand experience.

I am a person that values my space and I rarely let anyone disturb that. So when I got involved in my latest relationship I communicated that to the person, yet they did all they could to be with me 24/7, when I wasn't at work. It drained me! I wasn't getting any sleep because they were there, I was being late to work because of them (my fault too because I allowed it), I rearranged my schedule and activities to accommodate them, and the ONE time I wanted a night to myself THEY FLIPPED.

Implied that I was with someone else, stated that you don't normally take baths so why take one tonight, who takes a 2-hour bath (no-one that I know of, but you do have preparations that might make bath time lead to 2-hours), etc. Now mind you I had already told them that my day was FUCKED UP and that my emotions were all over the place. So I had the right to flip, yes? Well I didn't, I just said "As I have told you already my day was FUCKED and I just want to be alone instead of taking it out on you. But you don't understand that so I am not about to have this argument, GOODNIGHT." Can you say I had a GOOD NIGHT'S sleep and I feel so rested!!!!!

Happy Hump Day!

~feenix

Just Scheduled A Test Drive...Owwwwwwwwwww!

2009-08-14T12:29:00.000-04:00

I have wanted this car since I seen it in the very first Transformers movie...I have finally made the decision to begin purchasing it. Its a birthday gift to myself...

Tell me what you think of the color!

~feenix

The Greatest....

2009-08-14T08:57:00.001-04:00

So if your a music fanatic like me, and lyrics make you mentally moist, then you should have a few ideas and opinions on what you think the GREATEST might be...

So this very special dedication post is about the greatest "one-liners" to date. I encourage and WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO post a response with your favorite one-liner and the artist and I will post it on the main blog site under The Greatest...

I am going to kick it off with:

"...From the gate I brrrr rrrr dah down the door, Like Eddie Murphy I gave it to you RAW, 2-piece bikini FENDI mink draggin' on the floor, Kim been the 1st lady since I dropped HARDCORE..." ~LIL KIM

Kels said:
"I'm crying everyone's tears, I have paid for all my future sins, there's nothing anyone can say to take this away, its just another day ..." King of Sorrow ~Sade

"Who the FUCK! told Bitches they could do what I do, All of a sudden these Bitches got accents too...! ~Foxy Brown

~FEENIX

Will the Real Chi-Chi please stand up!

2009-08-13T14:25:00.000-04:00

Now if you look at the picture closely at the bottom far far left, "sarah as a dragqueen" posing with Tony...and compare it closely to the picture on the top right. You would have to ask for the real chi chi to stand up!!!!

How sad....

~feenix

Random Thoughts...

2009-08-13T14:13:00.000-04:00

Is it wrong to ask your mother to ask the person that you used to date, whom you no longer really speak to because they are an Asshole, if you could use their house for your birthday party?

I mean what if you feel that they owe you this because they are an Asshole and you didn't know they were an asshole before you dated them?

Is it also wrong to give your mother a "script" because you are sure they are going to have questions, one in particular being "...Does he know about the party?..." to which you instruct her to reply NO!

I am only considering this as an option while I look at other spaces, but you should always have a plan B, C, D, and sometimes E...

Hmmmmm what do you think readers?

~feenix

A Very Special Day...September 11, 2009

2009-08-13T10:09:00.000-04:00

(JUST MAKE SURE THE RIBBON IS BLUE LIKE THE ROSE BELOW!!!!)

So anyone that knows me knows that there are TWO VERY VERY SPECIAL TIMES A YEAR FOR ME and they are My Birthday and Christmas. It just so happens that my birthday is just around the corner!!!!

In addition to knowing me, you know that I prefer wedding cakes over the traditional birthday cakes. Same concept just much more elegant, as I am. But I enjoy both. And that my favorite color and flower is below:

I look at it as a time to enjoy good homemade food, family friends, and fun. I also look back over the year and analyze the good, the bad, the indifferent, and the purpose. During this time I weed out those that mean me NO good and open up room for the new that will come into my life. If you know your place in my life then you have no worries, but if you have been sometimey, fair weather, or you really aren't sure where you stand with me, its a pretty good guess that your time with me will be over. I do hope that you enjoyed all we shared, or didn't...but my love will remain the same. Without further a due...

Below is a photo list I put together to show some of the things that I would like to acquire as gifts:

DVDs - I am a big Movie Buff
Box Sets

SHOES: Size 12/13

Shoe game official like a Ref wit a whistle...

~feenix

Pissed @ Apple Right Now...

2009-08-13T09:12:00.000-04:00

I am sooooooooooooooooooooo feckin pissed right now. Tell me why, in the midst of my spin class DJ debut, did my IPOD 20 GB decided that it is tired of holding a charge and won't do it anymore. WTF!

Do you know how awful and boring it is to workout without any music? Its like walking through the desert with a plastic bag jumpsuit as clothing. UGH!

I am a PROUD member of the IPOD generation, but I am sad to say that with all the fanfare that is given to Apple for their innovation and futuristic technolgoy why the feckstick can't the damn thing hold a charge.

Now as long as its plugged into a charging device it will play. But the moment you unhook it, the screen will fade out and a display message will appear saying "battery low please connect to charging device" even if its been charging for hours.

Such as life I suppose, and technology isn't perfected YET!

Glad my Birthday is just 28 days 686 hours 41196 minutes 2471720 seconds away... BUT WHO'S COUNTING

~FEENIX

Today's Strawberry Letter...

2009-08-13T08:38:00.000-04:00

If you follow the Steve Harvey Show....then you know about the Strawberry Letters. (If not its a segment where you can email/mail in your situation and ask for advice on a solution from the team) Well I am going to paste below today's letter...

Hey everybody, I'm a 24yr woman I get graduated from college in Biology I'm also a AKA. I have no family but my boyfriend we been dating since high school. He hates the fact that Im smarter than him and i graduated early from college he's a slacker. He recently broke my arm cause I got excepted for a job in Texas. His mother say just deal with it cause you know how much he love u PLEASE!! 3mths ago he bust my nose and cut all me hair offcause he didn't make the faternity. I tryed talking to his mother about leaving but she goes back and tell him everything. I know Im smart but everytime I try to leave he follows I'm scared the next will be that he KILLS me WHAT I AM TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please feel free to share your thoughts. I will keep mine hidden because I want to know if we have the same thing on our mind as we read this. Please post the first thing that comes to your head...and if after you process it later on in the day, week, month, year...come back!

~feenix

Can we build an EMBARASSMENT JAIL...

2009-08-12T11:15:00.001-04:00

CLICK EACH BOLD LINK TO WATCH THE VIDEO

BlackBottom.com - Grandmas "Drop It Like It's Hot" To Get Out Of a Traffic Ticket...
My sister said she had no words for this "coonary"..I was like coonary? WTF, dying of laughter.

BlackBottom.com - Live lobsters scare the hell out of Black woman
Should you even be cooking/eating crabs if you have to go thru all this?

BlackBottom.com - Keep Yo Dancing Ass Off The Treadmill!
He should be the poster child for the EMBARRASSMENT JAIL

BlackBottom.com - "CRACKHEADS GONE WILD" Creator on FOX News...
So who should go to EMBARRASSMENT JAIL the producer or the crackheads?

BlackBottom.com - Memphis Gay Black Pride Cupid Shuffle
Is that a grassy knoll?
p.s. is that a child at gay black pride?

And the coup de grace....This Pic!

Send his parents too!

So we can lock up all MUTHAFUKKERS that embarrass our race!

So glad I'm a white woman...

~feenix
p.s. WHY DID MY SISTER NAME THE JAIL THE "COONARY COLONY" *DEAD* FROM LAUGHTER

p.p.s. My sister said this to me "OMG I can’t believe you were on this website checking out more coonary. I just looked at the links you put on your blog. I am so completely disgusted with “crackheads” gone wild!!!!! Wth would even make a person think of doing that? I can only be so mad at the crackheads b/c they are after all crackheads that will do anything for a dollar. But this man paying them to do stuff for TV, knowing they will take whatever dollars they get to buy more crack. When the lady said some of the characters are becoming so well known they are selling their autographs for cash I darn near fell out of my seat. He is the one that should be thrown in the coonary colony, maximum security He should be forced to watch Roots, Roots the next generation, Sankofa, and any other televisions shows where they depicted happy sambo type characters sitting around all day eating chicken, watermelon, and grape soda every day for the duration of his sentence. I’m so outdone!!!"

Do Assholes Take a Break?

2009-08-12T08:46:00.000-04:00

So is there any time of the day where people just say "Hey you know what, I am gonna take a break from being an asshole"? Or a time when the self-centered assholes finally realize, if even for a brief moment, that they are NOT the only one's in the world or on the fucking road?

Case in point: So everyone knows that I spend a pretty significant amount of time during the week in the gym. Not because I am trying to be buff and swole to the point that I look like I squeezed in my clothes. Hell I am tall as shit and have a hard enough time finding clothes that fit my lengthy appendages, so do I really want to add on the task of finding shit off the rack to fit my sausage neck and abnormally big arms? But I digress... So every so often you have to change your routine so that your body doesn't become comfortable and results begin to be invisible. With that being said I am alternating my workout time from evenings to early morning. 5:30 am early... Now you would think that traffic would be fairly decent at this hour..which for the most part it is. But there's always one jockstrap that feels the need to be an asshole. Now the gym I attend is on the top floor of the building and you have to go up three levels in the parking garage to make it up. He's in front of me going extremely slow so people can see him in the "new black mans Mercedes" (a dodge charger if you didn't know) I'm like dude get the fuck, who is looking at you at 5 fucking 45 in the morning. At this point I am soooooooooo over it. I haven't had my Starbucks, I'm confused as to why I am even up this early, and now I have to deal with a crackish acting asshole. So in true Cameron Diaz fashion from Charlies Angels 1, I spin tires around this fool so I can park and get on with my Jane Fonda...Some people do have to get to work! And people think I am crazy for wanting to install a bull-horn in my car... I would have just pushed the button and said "Dude get the fuck outta the way, ain't nobody looking at you, your holding me up, and you might wanna run that piece of shit through a car wash and make sure they hit them crusty as windows you chump!"

Oh did I mention that he parked, had all his windows down, and was BLASTING this 80's rock song...I think it was Highway to hell or something like that. It was whack and so was he...UGH! COLOR ME DISGUSTED....

~feenix

3 Strikes...

2009-08-11T10:27:00.000-04:00

Its Over...

How many chances are you supposed to give someone when they keep doing the same SHITE! I mean really, what do you have to do or say to get them to see your point. I have grown tremendously! I have learned that when dealing with other people and trying to incorporate them into your life you have to take certain steps and pay closer attention to certain things. I find the best way to go at this is straight up and to the point. So I ask very direct questions (thanks to my daddy, i love that man!) and I expect very direct answers. So when you beat around the bush and avoid answering my questions this causes concern...

When I tell you that I am a nice person and try not to get upset because I can go from 0 to 60 in seconds you should believe me. When I clearly tell you the things that upset me and you continue to do those things and then I FUCKIN' SNAP you shouldn't be surprised or upset that I snapped. You should own up to it and say yeah I kept doing it so I should have expected it. You got me WAY'FD

When you just don't take the time to see the good I do and you only go on your twisted interpretation of what I SHOULD BE DOING (if I were you, but that's just it, I'M NOT YOU!)...then it will never work.
When you get upset because I don't say what you expect me to say, something is wrong and that's not really mature!

When you tell me that you care and I SHOW YOU THAT I CARE and you get mad because I don't say I care, then you really aren't paying attention and words mean more to you than actionS...Then we aren't compatible. When you are going thru a life changing event and you fear how I MIGHT react and I react by telling you "BABY IT's OKAY, WE WILL GET THRU THIS STRONGER THAN EVER" and you have the nerve to question my sincerity THEN YOU HAVE ISSUES THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK ON.

With all that being said. I APOLOGIZE... Apologize for my timing. You weren't ready for the type of man I am. Maybe one day you will be and maybe I will be around to show you how AWESOME life can be. I apologize that we weren't able to work it out, it could have been something really special. I apologize for not fitting into a box and I apologize for being someone that you couldn't read easily. I apologize that I am a mystery, a mystery that you found intriguing in the beginning but frustrated you because you thought you would be able to change that.

It's okay, you are forgiven and I am FREE!
You are something special but just not for me and I am okay with that and I have accepted it. With all my heart, I MUST say goodbye. Maybe I will see you next lifetime. Take care of yourself...

Much Love,
~feenix

Valerie and Avis...August 09, 2009

2009-08-11T09:30:00.000-04:00

So after and eventful weekend and with minimal sleep I had to load up "Kandy" and travel around the mean streets to pick up relatives so that we can embark on a caravan style road-trip to the great state of Pennsylvania to bear witness to the Holy Matrimony of one Ms. Valerie (my cousin) to one Mr. Avis (now my cousin-in-law)

Let's start off by saying it was hotter than Satan's Balls on this day. And as we arrive at our destination my mother was just as hot as Satan's Balls (reason: the wedding started at 3pm and we arrived at my grandma's to change clothes at 2:45 and it was 10 people that had to change) LOL she was livid and all I could do was laugh. My poor niece got it the worst and my mom leaned on her waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to the left. I could hear her from the other room goin' and all I could do was laugh and I mean LAUGH.

But can we talk about HOW MUTHAFREAKIN HOT IT WAS IN HER HOUSE...screw Satan's balls its like he snatched me up and placed me right int he crevice between his balls and his thigh and then had the audacity to close his legs. I couldn't get dressed fast enough! So I am pouring sweat and when I finally get dressed I am running down the steps and past everybody in full sprint. They like "where you going..." and I am like to my car. They knew what that meant...AIR!

So we get to the church and as we are walking by the windows are open and we can hear people talking. So we look up and its our cousin. We realize that its 3:30 and the wedding has not started kool, Moms can calm down. Oh but we walk in the church and nearly pass out...WHERE IS THE AIR IN THIS DAMN TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we walking in there 14 deep and people are just looking. So we take our rightful place on the front row of the bride side. You know the place reserved for FAMILY! How you doin'....
Shortly after the wedding begins. What trips me out...is that I didn't know you could sing the lords prayer...
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. [For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.]
Amen... Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us. Save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever. Amen.
NOW I DON'T KNOW WHICH VERSION SHE WAS SINGING but she was definitely singing the prayer. It caught me off guard because you know how sometimes you can't get the song from the very beginning because people be wanting to do their own renditions, so when I realized it I asked my parents if she was in fact belting out a tune with the lord's prayer as the lyrics, their snickers and smiles confirmed it.

Ghetto was it? Slightly....LOL
The groomsmen, the Groom specifically, was holding conversations at the alter. The bridesmaids were all outta line. The sons gave her away but stood up there at the alter with them. And then when it came time to kiss the bride, it was almost soft core porn, with him feeling her up and grabbin' her ass and the whole 9. Not to mention homie had on suede shoes with no socks LMAO!

Reception: Was in the gymnasium at the YMCA...do I need to go any further?

But all in all I am glad that she was happy and I got to see family that I have never met or have not seen in a long time!

~feenix

August 8, 2009...The Baby Shower! Part II

2009-08-11T09:20:00.000-04:00

So as I was reading my sisters blog (after I finished the first post) I had to come back and copy and paste, from her blog, this excerpt...

Direct quote mind you: "Oh yeah and that feckstick the pseudo sends me a text message around 2pm right in the midst of all the drama saying "ok i'm up now, what still needs to be done" (i had told him the previous day that I would be moving all day and if he could help i'd appreciate it). So I respond back saying "unpacking everything". Do you know I didn't hear from this b!tch for the rest of the day. This is why I hate him. its probably better that he didn't come though b/c my dad all day kept saying..."That little F@ggot you're pregnant by should be here helping" or "where's that little fruit boyfriend of yours". No my dad isn't homophobic or anything, he just says ignorant things sometimes..."

check out the rest at: http://mlgu.blogspot.com/

LMAO at vengence is mine the lord sayeth...she better be citing scripture while she rants and raves!

~feenix

August 8, 2009...The Baby Shower!

2009-08-11T08:56:00.000-04:00

OK OK OK...This is the moment you have all been waiting for!

The long awaited, most anticipated event of the century of my sister Ria and the Psuedo. (If you want to know the history and why the dramatics please go to www.mlgu.blogspot.com and follow!)

Now upon my arrival I was frustrated because it was hot and I had to search for parking. To things that go against my very being. But anyhoo, I got a spot and hopped out to retrieve the gift from the trunk. As I am walking up to the house I see this yellow stick figure in the front yard and I was like who is this guy. As I get closer I say, to myself of course, "That must be him..." so I walk past and proceed into the house. Immediately I have flashbacks to the gym because it is hot as hell in there (sauna like) but I am determined to make the best of it and support my sister and cousin Michelle cuz it was about them (oh and my niece to be!)

So because I was fashionably late, by an hour, I had to endure introductions and the divide was clear. Those who were invited by her and those that were clearly invited by him. I ain't never seen no "niggas" like that. I mean and I thought I was proper being Snow White and all...but geesh where did they come from?

I am convinced that the invention of, and CONSTANT upgrades,to the cell phone was a bad idea LMAO! So immediately I tell my cousin to give me her cell number and let the texting begin. So remember when I described the Pseudo earlier, yellow stick figure, yeah I wasn't lying. He could stand to eat a whole bakery of bread and that might give him at least the look of being nourished. So I texted my cousin and was like Really? All the drama (remember go read) was for him? Now I am not sure if I should post this next piece because I am sure my sister is going to read this but here it goes...The consensus is, drum roll please.........HE'S GAY! LMAO or just gay friendly LMAO...cuz when his "boys" came in we couldn't tell where the females stopped and the men began with all the fashions and accessories and hater blockers. I was waiting for one to go in their Birkin bag and pull out their cell phone...DYING OF LAUGHTER OVER HERE as I replay this back in my head! Quite comical

But the baby shower was great! Big ups to Michelle for putting it together and snaps to Shay for them hats oh and mad props to whomever made the meatballs(my favorite) and it was so good to see so many people that I hold dear to my heart...

Ria: forever the beautiful preggers woman. I must say pregnancy really agrees with you.
Michelle: take care of that handsome heartbreaker of a son you have. (whispers) and stop getting me into trouble
Shay:I haven't seen her since 1999 and it was a PLEASURE...talk about a reunion
Mama Washington: Now I know where the rest of the kids get their beauty

And to all the other people I met along the way!

~feenix
The rest I will save for a private conversation. Contact me if you care to hear!

Be Patient...

2009-08-10T09:00:00.001-04:00

A WALKING ZOMBIE...
I know all of my loyal friends and readers are deliciously waiting for my post RE: my weekend but I am just too tired and exhausted to give my posting its usual pizazz so I will wait until I can create and entertainingly sinful play by play of my weekend...

Until then, the best FUCK YOU you can give is to burn yourself and awake reborn...It's the feenix baby!

~feenix

LeToya...

2009-08-05T16:12:00.001-04:00

Formally of Destiny's Child...Is WACK!!!!!

What do you think?

http://videos.essence.com/?autoplay=true&&mediaKey=410b3b18-d0f4-4acb-876c-27e96d835809&isShareURL=true

So when will we realize...?

2009-08-05T12:27:00.000-04:00

That we will forever be the targets of racism... And whats even more sad is that we continue to give THEM (them being everyone outside of our race that looks down on and mistreats us; lead by WHITE people)the SWITCH to beat us...Check out the links to the latest tactics used to destroy and diminish the strengths of President Obama and the ugliness that we as BLACK (I don't use the term African American because even blacks from Africa don't necessarily associate themselves with the caliber of American Blacks) people accept through our behavior and decisions...

Are they serious?

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/08/05/rush-limbaugh-attacks-obama-the-joker-and-me/

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/03/02/steele-limbaugh-ugly/

What the Hell...?

2009-08-05T11:15:00.000-04:00

So as each day passes, I find myself liking them more. Maybe the unnecessary beginning drama was needed to find out how each other really felt, I don't know and I am not going to put too much thought into it. When you think long, you think wrong so I am just gonna enjoy it. What I mean is...

So I was at the gym getting my 'Jane Fonda' on and all thru my workout they were on my mind. I don't take my phone into the gym so I had to wait till I was ready to go to make that call. But all thru the workout I was like damn I can't wait, I wonder if they want to come over, what are we gonna eat for dinner. WHAT THE HELL is going on here? Then I found myself trying to figure out what I was gonna make for dinner. Since the very first day they been eating good and I am trying to figure out when I picked up my apron again cuz anybody that knows me knows that I have to be in the mood to cook! And if you are not family or REAL REAL close friends yo ass might starve fuckin' with me

Can someone help me out? What the hell...

So when I finally talked to them upon leaving the gym they was like Hell yeah I'm coming over. When will you be here cuz I have to shower and get ready. I was like kool I'll head to the grocery store and get some items for dinner and that will give you time to prepare...

Harris Teeter Total: $61.00 ( I lost my mind)
2-Cornish hens
2-ears of corn
1lb-fresh strawberries
1lb-fresh cantaloupe
1-olive oil butter spread
4-organic tomatoes
1-European cucumber (@ $2.49)
1 tub of butter pecan ice cream
1 tub of sweet potatoes with brown sugar and honey
6-eggs

2 full muthafukkas and a good night's sleep

What the hell....?

~feenix

Dedicated to my Sistas and Brothas...

2009-08-05T10:39:00.000-04:00

Who ever had some muthafukka in their life that DIDN'T MEAN THEM ANY GOOD, yet they believed in them because that muthafukka was an illusionist. And you believed that illusion!

We just want to say THANX 4 NOTHIN'...

Thanx 4 Nothin - Mariah Carey

~feenix
p.s. make sure you pay close attention to verse 2, the hook, and the bridge!

What Keeps Me Going...

2009-08-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

Ego
Sad and Lonely
Broken Hearted Girl
Halo

I Decided
Sandcastle
T.o.n.y.

Apologize

I Remember
Shoulda Let you Go
Heaven Sent

It's Alright
Joy
Think of you

My Love Is Your Love
So Amazing
Heartbreak Hotel

Obsessed

My Life
Ain't Nothing Goin' On But the Rent
Tramp

Missing You
The Boss
Mirror Mirror
Love Hangover

Ready to Die
WArning
Juicy
Me and My Bitch

Lucifer

Beautiful

Shawty Is The Shit

And I am waiting for...

Missing You...

2009-08-03T09:48:00.000-04:00

So how do you get someone out of your system that unconciously ebedded themselves in your emotions and psyche? Well when you find out the answer please let me know so that I can bottle it and sell it to unsuspecting people embarking on new relationships.

So as you all know I've had to deal with a little bit of drama over the course of last week. Well the weekend approaches and I am stubborn as hell, so I let the dust settle and the chips fell where they may.

But I had this nagging feeling attached to my spirit...I figured it out at 12:00am (August 3rd) I Missed Them...

Im Missing You - Diana Ross & the Supremes

WOW! didn't see that coming...So I reached out and I expressed myself (something I don't do, but learning how to) and told them exactly what the problem was and how I was feeling. I took responsibility for my part and they did the same. WE COMMUNICATED! Gold star for that...

So we're gonna try it again...Besides whats a relationship without a few obstacles.

Wish us luck and blessings!

~feenix

Apologize...

2009-08-03T09:34:00.000-04:00

...
I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that your sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize,it's too late...

How real is that song? Well that definitely brings me to todays question.

"At what point is it too late top apologize?"

As you know I was dealing with a situation the involved emotions and the whole NINE regarding relationships and spending time with another. So if the apology comes after the hurt what should one do?

Or when you find yourself always being apologized to, does it become too late then?

Do people REALLY understand that sometimes "I apologize" just isn't enough?

What are your thoughts?

~feenix

The Real Housewives of Atl...

2009-07-31T11:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, so everyone knows I am a reality tv junkie, and like most junkies I like to share my addiction. Now there are very different reasons for why I like reality tv, and I use the term loosely because its not my reality and I AM REALLY NOT SURE who's reality it might be but nonetheless, its entertaining.

Now take the Season 2 premier of The Real Housewives of Atlanta...

Again this is not my reality but it was one of those things that you should turn off but really can't pull yourself to do so. (a la Bobby and Whitney in Being Bobby Brown)

So it starts off with a recap of last season and the drama and fights that ensued. Which brings you back to present day and the "new" wives and lives.

NeNe: I like her but she rubs me the wrong way in the fact that I think she likes to start and keep drama going all while trying to play "innocent" Not a good look for you NeNe...and for all that said she lost her house, I am not sure if its true but she has moved into another one in THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD as Lisa, and who says reality tv won't upgrade you!

Lisa: Now I will forever love this couple. They seem like the epitome of what marriage is about. And they are working to have more children, do you! There is no room fro judgement from me. Now I do know they both are a lil hood...go figure. And I love how they pulled up to a celebrity birthday bash dressed to the NINEs in a Nissan Pathfinder...Keep It Real Family Hartwell

Sheree: She is beautiful and although her attitude in the first season made her ugly, you can tell that she has went through a humbling experience that she finally talks about in this season 2 premier. But boy did the Cleveland Hood Bitch come out of her during a planning event for her 'Independence/Divorced Granted" Party...

In her defense, I do believe that she was right to want to be included and allowed to ask the details of her shin-dig...

Kim: Still plastic, Still fake, Still a whore AND SHE WILL NOT TRY TO BE SLICK AND SAY THE BLACK GIRL AT THE HAIR SHCOOL WILL BE WORKING FOR HER ONE DAY....disgusted!

Drama...Part II

2009-07-31T09:30:00.000-04:00

So here I thought we were past the drama after the "all night" discussion, WRONG!

So I am laying in bed and I get a text saying "...I was sleep but have been up showered dressed and now at the bar wit my boy..." Fine whatevs, except for the fact that I sent you a text 4 hours ago and I am just getting a response. Do you! Then comes the next text "...So I will talk to you tomorrow, have a good night..." to which I reply "..oh ok, you do the same" This banter went back and forth for a while until I received a text that thru me completely for a loop...

"...You think you are innocent, but your not..." Now anybody that knows me knows that as a "white woman" I confuse easily so I replied, "...what are you talking about because I am completely confused..." And they said "...well seeing as how you are delayed on your responses you must have somebody there with you..." THAT DID IT!

Right then I made up my mind that this wasn't a situation that I am going to continue to deal with. "7 whole days and I'm just about thru, can't take it, won't take it, No, I had about enough of you...

So needless to say something, either liquor or their friends, got them all Gassed up and they went into this whirlwind of psychosis and antics that I refuse to be bothered with...

It was fun while it lasted, now its time to move on to a GROWN UP relationship. I think that was just what I needed to make the next decision in my life. A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME...guessed we figured out which that was.

~feenix

Someone Just Made My Day...

2009-07-30T14:27:00.000-04:00

Looks like I have an admirer...

Big ole kool aid smile (the red kind)

Thanks a mil...Much appreciated!

~feenix
p.s. it was sent to my job, how special is that????!

Drama...

2009-07-30T10:57:00.001-04:00

So at what point should you turn and run from a situation when DRAMA presents itself...

Let me give you some insight. So from a previous post you should know that I had a pretty awesome weekend recently. Well that weekend extended into the rest of the week. LOL I know right, how the hell did that happen? It will be 7 whole days (ala Toni Braxton) tomorrow. In the course of that 7 day period there have been 2 small, yet big issues, that arose where I have to question if it is worth my time, emotions, or effort to remain a 100% involved in this situation.

The sad part is that I am even having this conversation with myself, let alone anyone with internet access. Go Figure!

~feenix

Annoyed and Frustrated...A Rant

2009-07-27T13:22:00.001-04:00

I am annoyed that it took me over an hour to go across the bridge and come back from getting lunch

I am annoyed that people drive like they are the only fuckin' ones on the road

I am annoyed that it takes them a whole hour to turn the fuckin' corner

I am annoyed that men don't act like men anymore

I am annoyed that some single mothers made their male sons act and drive like bitches

I am annoyed that the charger/magnum is the NEW mercedes, FOR BLACK PEOPLE

I am annoyed that black folks always gotta be loud and tellin' they business in a public setting

I am annoyed that they think I want to hear that

I am annoyed that black folks don't have any manners

I am annoyed that as a black mother you are okay with your son being a womanizer

I am annoyed that this bitch almost hit my car trying to get into my lane like her car isn't equipped with mirrors

I am annoyed that she was waving her hand in the rear view mirror as if to apologize

I am annoyed that if she would have hit me, I am not really sure if I would have been able to handle it without violence

I am annoyed that the DOT put up these computer screens that say "Aggressive Driving shatters lives" when they should have included so does DUMB ASS DRIVERS

I am frustrated with the traffic in this area

I am frustrated that the cops aint worth shit

I am frustrated that I have to continue to control my temper living amongst hells angels

I am frustrated that there are more of them than there are me

I am frustrated that we've been given equal rights for substantially unequal efforts

I am just frustrated....

~feenix

Niggas, Gnats, and Flies, I do Despise...

2009-07-27T10:43:00.000-04:00

The more I hate Niggas, the more I like Flies!

So last night, after a very long weekend, I drop my sis off and call my shortie to see if they want to roll thru right...

So I pick them up and I get home, mind you I am exhausted ready to go in the house, shower, and bun up. I pull into my garage and someone is in my spot. Instantly, I went from 0 to 60... because I just don't get why you would park in someone else's spot.

So fast forward, after I say a few expletives, I call non-emergency and have them dispatch a cruiser so that I can have a ticket issued. The ticket is because I can't have it towed without a ticket. (sidebar: I have been through this before, so I know the procedure) And when I noticed it was the "klan" I knew this wasn't going to go good. The "klan" was like we can't issue tickets on private property and yadda yadda yadda not telling me what I want to hear. I was givin' it to him...but I digress.

So I accepted the fact that I may have to park "kandy" on the street because I didn't have time to wait and it was already late. So as I was walking up the steps I seen that muthafukka that I don't like and his boy walking down the hall, I said to myself, bet you its his ass in my spot. So in true feenix fashion I turned and walked behind they ass to see. Sure nuff....

So I said to him, "now you know that's my spot, so why have your boy park there" He lookin' at me all dumb and ain't saying shit..So I'm like are you a mute...so I turn to his boy and was like I was about to have your shit towed...

They got in and pulled out...then must have thought about it and stopped. Dude came back and was like you ain't have to talk to me like that. I ain't know dude was in your spot, I was like how did he get in the garage and in the building and just happen to park in my spot and he your company but you ain't know he was there? Then I turned to his gump as friend and was like I don't come to your house and park in yo spot so why would you do that shit here...Why would you do some shit like that... Then my shorty was like calm down, he said he ain't know...in an attempt to diffuse the situation...Wasn't going for it... I think it was more so cuz I ain't like his ass to begin with...

Keep in mind, it was not about the space but more so the principle...

~feenix

July 24-July 27...The Weekend!

2009-07-27T09:09:00.000-04:00

Okay every now and then you have the BOMB weekend. It's either when your birthday falls on a Friday, or Memorial Day, or 4th of July, or Labor Day or anytime you get that 4-5 day stretch... Well none of this applies to the weekend I just had...LOL

Started Friday...After an unbelievably wasteful Friday morning and afternoon I met up with this shortie that I had been trying to get at for a while. For whatever reason things just clicked and we agreed to chill out. Friday turned into Monday morning quickly... I guess that's what they mean by TIME FLIES WHEN YOUR HAVING FUN!

You ever had that situation where you just click instantly and you vibe and chill and laugh and just forget about anything that goes on? Well that is the kind of weekend that I had. Yessssir

But it wasn't all about just laying up and gettin' it in (We did that too!!!!! OMG did we do that, but I digress) I got a chance to showcase my culinary skills. AND I DON'T DO THAT FOR EVERYBODY. My family and my friends are about the only ones that get my good cookin' unless I am trying to show someone up at a work function (punch bowl cake anyone?)

But most importantly I got a chance to spend time with my family and the Lord himself.

My Family: I try to go visit my parents after church because Sunday is usually family time. (And the fact that my parents live about 5 mins from the church I attend, how rude would it be if I didn't go visit) So I text'd my mother from the 24th pew and asked her what she was doing...She replies about to go pick up your sisters and hang out at the mall...Whoa! where was my invite? So at the same time I am talking to my sisters via text and they tellin' me about the plans they got wit Ma...So 'Snow White' is confused as to how she is the fairest of them all and NO-ONE included her...So fast forward, now that my seat on the excursion has been arranged we get it poppin'. I love spending time with my family cuz we all crazy as hell and we should have 12 pack abs by now the way we be cracking up. And my nieces are getting so Big...Shout out to Ms. Gucci her shoe game is vicious (thanks to her uncle; will post pics of the footwear we purchased!) But you gotta love them yessir!
And my shoe game:

The Lord: So they sang 2 of my favorite Jesus compositions yesterday and that let me know I was where I needed to be. I get my message through music which is why I attend on the 2nd and 4th cuz that's when the the "chorale" blows... Yes I know Jesus and Emanuel...what more can you ask for, AMEN!

~feenix

Embarrarssed...

2009-07-27T08:56:00.001-04:00

Now readers, I don't know if you are anything like me but I HATE to be embarassed. With that being said, I try to limit the opportunities for my mental psyche to register embarrassment. The subject of embarrassment is important because it stems from quite a funny situation, or at least I think it is funny...

Now I know I said that I was going to retire my 'Funny Fitness Expose': All the Funny Things at the Gym, but I had to come out of retirement just one time... (sidebar: My Jane Fonda is killin' em)

So being the 'white woman' that I am, I am all about spin class. If you are unfamiliar, its a group exercise class that involves the stationary riding of a bike that is supposed to be reflective of outdoor riding (hill climbing, sprinting, etc). And because it is soooooo popular among my fellow whites, you must sign up for the class no more than an hour prior to the beginning of the class (sidebar: the staff at the gym guard this list like its Queen Eliz)...

So on more that one occasion, people come into the spin class and get on bikes and start riding to warm up before class. Now I am watching as the bikes get less and less available as it gets closer to the start time. So now its "6:30" and in walks the instructor prepared to start class...but hold up somebody doesn't have a bike. Here is where the ENTERTAINMENT comes in...

The instructor says "is there anyone in here that is on a bike and didn't sign the list?..." Of course no one says anything and EVERYONE looks around. So the instructor asks again "is there anyone that is on a bike that didn't sign the list cuz I am about to go pull the list and call names..." Still no one says anything. "Attendance" is called and the person NOT on the list is looking all dumb and confused and EMBARRASSED because I, along with others, are cracking up at the jackass who wasted time and could have avoided being embarrassed BECAUSE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR SPIN CLASS...WTf?

~feenix

Caught Looking...

2009-07-24T09:37:00.000-04:00

Ok so when you are faced with someone who has odd characteristics, por ejemplo a lazy/crooked/wandering eye, how should you behave?

I ask because there is a maintenance man in my building and he has the above mentioned characteristic and yesterday I approached him about some cleaning solution and sub-consciously I am sure I was focused on this eye. (sidebar: I wonder if they notice that you are looking at that eye versus anything else) I digress...

As I walked away I was thinking to myself...

Was my stare obvious?

Did I hide it at all?

Was I really staring at it?

I feel so embarassed?

How rude of me...

But I can't help it...

Oh well!

~feenix

Thoughts and Expressions...

The Crunch Is On...

Resurrection...

Mirror Mirror

Barbara Millicent Roberts (own personal blog coming soon)

Not passing judgement...

There's Something To This Communication Thing...

The Thing About Trust...

He Is Risen...

Discarding Ashes...

Discarding Ashes...

Thinking Back...

Wondering...

Down but NOT Defeated...

What's been happening...

Life...

The Rundown...

From the heat of the fire...He returns!

Worry Sets In...

Monday...

Serenity...

He Cut His Hair....

I am grateful...

Monday Morning Random Thoughts...

I am grateful...

27 Dresses...

Heard 'Em All...

I am grateful...

So emotional...

How do you apologize...

I am grateful...

I'm grateful for...

I have to find a new place to live...

Ummmmm...

Don't Know Where To Begin...

I'm grateful for...

I'm grateful for...

I'm grateful for...

Things I'm All About Right Now...

Big Sister, Big Sister...Theres NO ONE like my Big Sister!

*DEAD* and on the floor...

Today's Post...

Sick of it...Random Thoughts

A Lil' Monday Morning Humor...

I Tried To Give It To The Lord...

Epiphany...

Speaks to your heart, but eases your mind...

Don't Forget The Hot Sauce Chulo...

Makidada...

Screw Man Down...It's "Race" Down...A Cultural Embarassment!

Awaken Please...

Sunday September 13, 2009...The Final Day!

DIAMOND BOY's BIG DAY...Part 3

Chick-fil-A Musta Lost Dey Got Damn Minds!!!!! 9/11/09

Friday September 11, 2009...It's MUTHFUKKIN Official! Day 2

Thursday September 10, 2009...The Beginning!

Can I Rest Now...?

8 Days and Counting...

Tell Me What You Think....Of Whitney's New Album

So I've Picked Out My Birthday Cake...

When Do You Take Them Seriously...

Better Off As Friends...

My Daddy Sent This To Me...

Porcelain Doll...

How Do I Feel Today...

So I Ran Across This....

Larry is recovering in room 232 at the hospital

Utter Confusion...

Male Hygiene...

Bulletproof Soul...

Me Time...

Just Scheduled A Test Drive...Owwwwwwwwwww!

The Greatest....

Will the Real Chi-Chi please stand up!

Random Thoughts...

A Very Special Day...September 11, 2009

Pissed @ Apple Right Now...

Today's Strawberry Letter...

Can we build an EMBARASSMENT JAIL...

Do Assholes Take a Break?

DEAD and on the floor...